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Dec 16, 2010
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Against the Wind
Small birds gather outside my window
huddled beneath sparse cover
of a leafless fire bush.
Feathers puffed out
shielding against the northern wind
and errantly dancing snow.
The winter sparrows camaraderie
warms my heart
sheltered as I am
behind concrete and glass
separating their world from mine.
Loreli
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
mand
14 years 7 months ago
Hello Loreli
Hardy little creatures - so small against the elements, they huddle together and keep each other warm
You have captured the scene perfectly - and I wonder if there is an underlying message here?
Ahh! I love to read your work
Love Mand xxxxxx
Loreli
14 years 7 months ago
There is a message!
Must be the social worker in me.....lol.
I work with those much less fortunate than I, yet the way they come together in times of need never ceases to amaze and inspire me.
Thank you for the wonderful compliment Mand!
Love,
Lori
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 7 months ago
Loreli
this was very thought provoking, it bought imagery of the people who live in the street here in NYC. When winter comes they get 50Gal empty drums and start fires in them to stay warm. I see them huddled together around these make shift fire places. Your sparrows put that in my head. Yes and I so warm in the cozy privacy of my home.
What and absolutly wonderful write, there is so much in this write that can be said.
thanks, it was a heart touching pleasure to read!
Always Eddie
Loreli
14 years 7 months ago
Thank you Eduardo!
The sparrows gather like this every winter outside my office window, and since as I told Mand I am a social worker I saw more than the birds....
I am fortunate in that I have a home to go to and family to lean on should I need it. Many of my clients do not have this. The scene you describe in New York City is one you do not see where I work (as it is very rural), but the problems of homelessness and poverty are there if you know where to look.
I am so pleased you enjoyed this and thanks for commenting!
Peace, Lori
scribbler
14 years 7 months ago
wind
Well here I was thinking of writing a poem about birds around my feeder and you beat me with this lovely write lol.................scribbler
Loreli
14 years 7 months ago
Please write it!
I always enjoy your descriptive poems and would love to see one about your birds!
Thank you for reading this one!
Sincerely,
Lori
Loreli
14 years 7 months ago
Thanks Shirl!
I am so glad you got a chance to read this one, and I am so glad you are back and feeling better!
My job as you said is difficult, but there are rewards....
Peace to you my friend!
Lori
Nordic cloud
14 years 7 months ago
I like the errant snowflakes,
Ah this is lovely, I like the errant snowflakes,
their guilt so trying to look innocent, and yet
in some ways they are! The birds, I don't know
how they manage here in Norway, with frosts
lasting nearly two months so far, and going
in places below -30%C, and with the wind
its doubled!!!!
A nice poem Loreli, are you in Italy too,
but they would use two ll's?
Love Ann of Norway.
Loreli
14 years 7 months ago
Hi Ann!
So pleased you liked this! on the day I wrote this the snow was just so light, yet the wind was blowing about 45mph. I think our birds are spoiled here compared to in Norway!
I am actually in the U.S. in Michigan. Hope you are having a wonderful holiday season!
Love and Peace,
Lori
loved
14 years 6 months ago
This is the maiden
This is the maiden
One of your poems
That I have read today
And
As I can now see,
You also dwell behind closed doors,
As we do in Montreal,
Perhaps the cold snow shields us,
As in the snow
There are no sparrows
You know
Loreli
14 years 6 months ago
Dear Loved
Thanks so much for visiting and taking the time to comment. Wrote this from my office, watching the birds outside my window.
Hope you have a wonderful New Year!
Lori
Hooded Stranger
14 years 3 months ago
Lori
Lori,
poetry about nature don't usually rock my boat...but this one stirred me. You brought me into the poem and I was there sitting with you in the warmth by the fire looking out of the window at the birds.
My poetry is often in your face and a slightly aggressive, but you calmed me down and opened my eyes to the obvious which I tend look beyond.
I find the poet 'raj' here at Neo can do the same thing by bringing a tranquility and calness to me...you have done the same.
This line was interesting:
separating their world from mine
we are all in the same world, but I agree with you that despite sharing the world we do still have a divide between us and animals (birds)...two different worlds. I wonder if we would be as resillient to the elements if we were birds?
Good write...and I am calm and peaceful now,
thanks for sharing,
HS
Loreli
14 years 3 months ago
Thank you so much!
I really am thrilled you liked this and found it calming. Nature has always been a great form of therapy for me, however for most of my life I have been afraid of birds. But I love to watch the ones outside my window, it has helped to calm my fears of them!
Thanks for your very nice comments...I appreciate it.
Lori
CCfire
14 years 3 months ago
Sparrows
I always enjoy in poetry, they are such a hardy little bird that despite the weather they gather. I suspect the deeper meaning is in people who are not so fortunate to be that hardy or indoors just watching this take place. I feel for the many who must do it hard on winter nights and days.
Loreli
14 years 3 months ago
Very nice to hear from you
Dear Chez,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on this. You are correct about the meaning of this poem....I am a social worker and see everyday those much less fortunate than I, and also run into those everyday who blame them for their situations. The birds are there everyday at my window as are those I try in my small way to help...both are amazingly resilient.
Peace,
Lori
magics02
14 years 3 months ago
Sigh
Very nice image I got upon your read Lori. I have to check out errantly....
Missed reading you
Blessings
Mona
Loreli
14 years 3 months ago
Dear Mona
Thank you so much! I have missed being on here to read everyone also! I am going to try and be better. Life has just been hectic lately. Hope you have a wonderful Easter!
peace,
Lori