Rula

Sep 19, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the workshop:

Mindful Memorable Freeform: The Challenge

(Read More...)

Teach Me More (Mindful Memorable WS # 6)

you taught me to soar
without wings
to paint with words
to sleep
on the clouds
to hug and kiss the stars
to sway
and bask the best of the day
even if it were dark
you taught me
every little hearty bit

almost everything I want

but you never
told me
where- when you leave
to keep
my heart

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

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Comments

docmaverick

12 years 9 months ago

Rula....

...to my ear, this is true poetry. I can actually FEEL you inside your scribblings; and I really liked it!
Good day,
doc.

Rula

12 years 9 months ago

Thanks doc

so happy you've enjoyed this one.
have a cheerful day!

Rula

12 years 9 months ago

Lonnie!

your lovely comment means a lot. Thanks for passing by and dropping such great words.

Ian.T

12 years 9 months ago

Rula

We see your heart in your words they have brought us the beauty that is there, Yours Ian.T

Rula

12 years 9 months ago

Ian

the beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Thanks for the compliment.

judyanne

12 years 9 months ago

this is awesome rula

the only thing that spoils it for me is the repeating of ‘heart’, not only are they only six lies separate, but also, with both finishing the line, they really stick out

what do you think about changing one? to maybe make the first one ‘breast’, ‘affections’, ‘centre’…
‘
I can’t pick any favourite lines – I would have to write them all out. well done, and memorable in its beauty of imagery
- soaring without wings, painting with words, sleeping on the clouds....

love judy
xxx

Rula

12 years 9 months ago

Thanks

for the suggestion dear Judy . Hope it reads better now.
So happy you find this a memorable one.

Rula

12 years 9 months ago

Subjenctive mood

isn't it ?

Done with many thanks for reading and for the suggestion
Have a nice day dear Kelesy.

BlueDemon77

12 years 9 months ago

Very well done Rula!

Your voice here is like a feather-touch. It's so easy to lapse into the sentimental when speaking so openly of love. You did it the hard way, the real way. You gave us the blue rose and its thorns. Exquisitely done!

Ron