judyanne

Sep 21, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the workshop:

Mindful Memorable Freeform: The Challenge

(Read More...)

a foolishness

blithely adding to
and making reduction of
the population
which invented Zeus
those high living gods
of old Olympus
asked for sacrifice, destruction

uncaring

until their creators
voted
against them

we read of
their downfall
their flaws

for mankind finally wrote into
the history of myth
mishaps of
no-longer-wanted-deities
(deciding, perhaps
one god would do)
and had them annihilated
in a heavenly war

little has changed I am sad to report
to have our say today
we still mould or break him
and invent his voice
.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

Rula

12 years 9 months ago

dear Judy

I've started to think you know about the Greek Mythology just as much as you know about your own life. :) though it is not always easy-for me as a reader to relate and therefore to enjoy the read.

If I am to pick I'd admit I found the first stanza the most memorable where it referes to the carlessness of today's human beings and the destruction they cause all around

but as I am not fully aware of the other deities and gods , I can't say how this is memorable for me in one way or another .

May be adding a reference stanza by the middle would make it easier to be read..Only a suggestion but you need to hear from the experts I believe..

judyanne

12 years 9 months ago

hi rula

thank you for the read and comments
but, again i think you may have mis-read me
all my fault i imagine - not making myself clear :)

i'm not really naming any of the gods - just referring to them in general, and how we write them in and out of our history to suit ourselves...

love judy
xxx

BlueDemon77

12 years 9 months ago

Well done Judy!

I've always preferred the pyre of the last hero setting the heavens on fire (Die Gotterdammerung)but I certainly see where you're coming from with your poem as well.

Ron

judyanne

12 years 9 months ago

thanks ron

thanks ron
lol - i wouldn't attempt to compete with wagner... or the norse myths - 'though i always liked the name Brynhildr lol

love judy
xxx

weirdelf

12 years 9 months ago

hmmm... good, but

to me it doesn't break new ground or challenge much established thought. Especially the idea that one god over many might be an advancement. Remember in this workshop the ideas themselves are open to critique.
Beautifully written, of course.

judyanne

12 years 9 months ago

thanks jess

yes - i know i have done better

but as far as saying that one god is an advancement - i didn't

i was more doing a tongue in cheek - the ancients decided perhaps that one god would be easier to control .... (‘deciding one god would do’) i thought the cynicism was there - but it obviously wasn't - will have to work on it

thanks again
love judy
xxx

BlueDemon77

12 years 9 months ago

I've always gotten a kick out of the Greek pantheism

I always loved how their gods represented the foibles and failings of human beings. I think most in the modern age have forgotten the ability to believe in a playful god rather than a jealous, vengeful one. The latter reeks of social control.

Ron

judyanne

12 years 9 months ago

yes ron

i think that's why i have always loved the tales too

and an astute observation there about social control...

xxx

weirdelf

12 years 9 months ago

or maybe I just missed the cynicism

my fallibility knows no bounds.

judyanne

12 years 9 months ago

lol no

i think i need to make it clearer
thanks jess
xxx

Nordic cloud

12 years 9 months ago

St Christopher

Makes me think of how sad my mother was
when St Christopher no longer carried the status of Saint.
Having all her life enjoyed his "company,"
his legend appealed to her so much. :)

L Ann.