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Restless but not Restricted
Boundless Feelings, boundless Emotions
when it comes to express them we are bounded
so much to say but we hardly utter
so much to say but we are short of words
some time we get few words but we hardly open up
want to share & exchange but we prefer quiet
need someone who can decode expressions
someone who can provide exact meaning
but we all fail as we try to pursue words
all we need to read those eyes
in quiet & placid they keep talking
for sorrow or happiness they keep dropping
few read them and few understand them
I did it once, I did understand their conversation
I was free at that time, no limitation of words
I gave answer I care..., I love... without those words
My fellow friends plz do one favor
keep reading mine and make me free
dont force me to use those words
words make me limited but i want to be free
want to open my arms & fly through breeze
embrace the sky touch the horizon
i want to be free i want to be quiet but talkative in your eyes
i dont want to move but motions in your heart
infinite proximity, infinite meanings, infinite feelings
finite words finite expressions plz set me free
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Poem indicates restlessness of mute people[ they cant talk or hear] and people suffering due to paralyze - so much to share but we dont understand them because rather than reading feelings we prefer words or language. We are restricted when it comes to communication but they are free to express themselves.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Rula
13 years ago
Bravo Azhar!
A touching theme to start with
As I was reading the poem and before reading your last few words, I wanted to say you need to make your lines shorter perhaps for better , easier reading but Then I thought may be this way -with long lines- the problem you're displaying would become clearer'
I think culling some lines though won't affect the idea and at the same time will make reading more enjoyable (IMO)
Also may I suggest having breaks between the lines to give the reader a breath while reading..
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Hope you enjoy your stay here.
Barbara Writes
13 years ago
beautiful
(IMO) breaking up into stanzas would give poetic shine to the structure. One possible typo ((dont) (don't))
I like using short hand writing (plz) also, Im not sure if its accepting in poetry.
Though I think it makes the poem stand out as unique from the poetry norm. As poetry evolve Im sure we'll see structural changes as times moves on in the poetic eye, mind and heart of poets everywhere.
kowque
13 years ago
well
I liked how you used your words,or should I say,how you MIS-used them to create a unique feeling. This is my kind of poem.