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A
Anet
Member since December 19, 2025
Member for 5 months, 21 days
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Burnt out passion
A man sits alone in the dark,
scared of losing his only spark,
holding a candle with the brightest flame
then his worst fear suddenly came,
„What if my light,
will ever burn out?”
So he holds on tight,
the spark he can’t live without,
Short, loud and heavy breathing,
but not as much, as the heart is beating,
too afraid to close his eyes,
because if he does, the flame dies,
The orange brightness,
with yellow shades,
Read the rest of the poem Show less
colors his iris,
meanwhile the light fades,
Then he’s trying to blow,
some air to his glow,
but with his own breath,
the flame become death.
Anet’s timeline
- December 2025
-
30 TueReceived a critique
on Burnt out passion from @Lavender
"Hello, Anet, Your first poem here? Welcome! A great concept with this. As AI states, the metaphor is very relatable. You may want to study the suggestions mentioned, including those from AI. The theme of the poem goes r…" -
20 SatReceived a critique
on Burnt out passion from @Jane A. Rug
"ever since yours truly (me) started dabbling with poetry and prose writing my endeavors tended to be no more than a couple screens of pablum, but lately (like the last one hundred days of solitude), a trend to write len…" -
20 SatReceived a critique
on Burnt out passion from @Geezer
"in total agreement Sir. you have a keen eye. I do find that giving an example of how to fix a particularly vexing verse, can spur the author to examine what works and what makes a smoother line: The orange flame with ye…" -
19 FriReceived a critique
on Burnt out passion from @Sen99
"The theme is good, the candle in a dark room, a man's life about to be snuffed out. The phrasing towards the end loses some punch to me: the last 2 stanzas, the lines weaken the flow. The rhymes work better in the first…" -
19 FriFirst publication
Burnt out passion
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19 Fri
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19 FriJoined Neopoet
Membership begins
First poem published 1 days later.
About Me
About me
Curious to read more poems
Location: CZE
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