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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 06/16/24 to 06/22/24

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WHISPERS (1)

Again, when I travelled through time,
Exchanging peace for garments of nocturnal pain,
Attempting to relive all happy moments stinging my calvary,
A stop and quick pause, waiting to bathe in a new rain.

A different path I chose, a new flesh I became,
I sat on still waters until my ego turned to rust,
Sorry leaves I birthed, my prideful feet now foreign- lame,
The universe reviving, the earth spitting another kind of dust.

Again, when I travelled through time,
To correct those feelings that poured through my lips,
My name revolving on a new wheel, leaving the past without a dime,
And though I burned a new fire, love never came,
My song sang rigid, my heart poured stone

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria, NGA

Favorite Poets: Niyi osunadare, William Morris, Alfred lord Tennyson, William Blake, William Shakespeare, John Milton and many more

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