hence yours truly (me)
seeks mental health services
without any luck
even after reading Scripture
from my namesake who exuded pluck
after paging thru
the AETNA Medicare directory,
whether a group practice or individual,
I expended energy and precious time today
June sixth two thousand and twenty four

We walk in the daylight,
where shadows still dare
to linger in dark corners
of complete despair.
Our hearts remain broken,
without the hope of repair,
as a torrent of butterflies
suddenly appear in the air.
They burst through the sky,
a good omen they bare.
Restoring our faith,
the migration is here.
Leaving our hearts,
without the taint of fear!

It flows like honey down my throat,
dissolves into a river of rapture
spinning, swirling, and caressing
my imagination, inviting me on a wild ride
through chiffon curtains and breezy clouds.

I close my eyes and disappear into
its royal purple,
its majestic red,
its loyal blue.

I am smitten by its affection as it whispers
bold promises to keep me safe, and calm,
...alive and happy.

I fancy myself to be a sassy yellow bowl
as it spoons its essence into my senses,
sweet and fresh,

Old hands. Old hands,
pick up her tea cup
that rests on the piano.
Time was, her future stretched further ahead,
now it sits smiling at the foot of her bed.

Old hands. Old hands,
spread apricot jam
over biscuits and toast.
Time was, the sunny days frolicked and played,
now they loll kindly in a swing in the shade.

How the years pass as her life is unfurled,
her fingerprints gracing the soul of the world.

Old hands. Old hands.

As night pulls down its wild dark curtains
And heavy eyelids drop lazily,
I ponder with spider-like loomed shadows,
Thoughts torture my broken, weary soul.

Everything around my room plays tricks;
Shadows with shattered hearts wander,
Carrying bloody, slaughtered dreams,
All howl, moan in pain, "that's insane, that's insane."

I seek a way out, is there no escape?
The door's locked with heavy chains.
Windows, it seems, are all covered with tar,
Behind the sill, bars add weight.

My bloodshot eyes are sore and red, they’ve been threatening to leak tears all day. But I'll blame it on the hayfever that I’ve never had because I don't want to believe, things between us have changed.

I squeak open the rusty door
and moist morning air comes pouring in
just like so many times before.
Time another day begins,

A couple steps onto the weathered deck
and grey squirrels start to bark at me.
I shrug my shoulders and stiff neck
in the shadow of a huge oak tree.

I blink and a deer simply appears.
It stops, stomps feet and stares at me
then drops it head without a care.
He walks away ignoring me.

She bobbed there in the gentle swell,
The little boat I knew so well.
The sail wrapped tight along the boom
Gave me a feeling of dark doom.
I saw no anchor chain hung down
To stop her, lest she run aground.
No one sat in her empty bow.
No hand controlled her keel just now.
A gentle breeze set her to rock.
How did she get loose from the dock?
As the breeze caused her to turn,
I spotted paint along her stern.
Rough letters where my name had been -
The words now looked like "Mortal Sin."

There is a silent
that holds with a
sadness expression
on a mother’s face
with the carrying instinct
deep emotional state
agony sorrow pain
embrace her with
mourning of a lost child
A heartbreak of solemn
remains untold
from the depression
streaming tears like
a flowing river
Filled with fear
of unspoken words
from the devastating
linger to a broken spirit
taking to the verge of despair
whisper of suffering remain
in bearing stage

Years from now,
We will be dead and buried.
Your laugh nothing more than
A whisper in the wind,
A breeze carrying off dandelion wishes.

Our headstones will rest together,
Aging together, as we did in life.
Tears from our loved ones will mix with rain
And our memory will fade with the engravings.

And years from now,
We’re forgotten by everyone but the Earth.
They will dig our bodies up
And find our bones entwined in each other’s arms.