.
I can feel my grip on the quill
squeezing it out

thick heavy lines
shoved to and fro
splashing words
...splotches of words
...spilt over other words
piling deep

jiggling over miniscule pauses
...dripping
...leaking
then another spew of
blackened spittle
even before the point of it all
trickles into awarness

Beyond accusing anger
and burn of bitterness
wrought from beaten jealousies
of rank contempt
risen in fury and fatigue,
the touch of one hand
caught within another
is miraculous.

So we slowly stroll
across the pale sunlight
of September afternoon,
fingers intertwined,
palms pressed warm,
speaking of long years
spent as moments together.

The words burn, acid on my toungue.
i open my mouth to scream ,
nothing will come.

Mute cries for salvation,
etched in a pained expression.
Eroding my senses.

Struggling against the tide,
drowning in you.
gulping stagnant air.

Obscure muttering, inaudible insanity.
Shadowy whispered tones
asphyxiate mortality .

In stasis, praying for the end.
Tortured psyche,
transcending hell, scant hold on reality.

All is nothingness ,
a swirling mass,
within purgatory.

I am angry
Not just pissed, but disappointed too
No longer exploitable
No longer young
Awareness has overtaken
Naivety of youth

Mind works faster now
Surer now
As body slows down

Lied to
Backstabbed
Crossed
Intentionally
By my government
That does so with impunity

No one to blame
In liars hall of shame
but them all
Running my Mother into the ground
Stealing Her resources for wars
Unfought
Thinking they will never be caught

Pangs of Wilderness!

I stray into the midst of a misty night,
Awaiting the storm of life
That ends like a tsunami,
Into the pangs of the wilderness

My fellow beings,
Alight from the dreamy day journey
Say fare the well to me,
As I take off
To the end of eternity

The wilderness now beckons’ me,
Come where the need is,
To stay now down there
As you fail thy self

Powered by the blackened sun
the UFO race long since began,
Secret base given numbers
accusations of unwarranted influnence.

A dark cloak of misspent power
exists, persists, evolves and resists,
This flight of fancy ignites my morbid
curiosity at terminal velocity.

A national security agency dwelling high
above the powers that be, first contact
not know plausible deniability extended
when the truth not know by the elected.

She sits quietly as
we wait at her door
pensive, languishing
without anticipation
of more

resignation
is related
without the resentment,
a gentle acknowledgement -
baptismal rain for the repentant

she alights on the mind
bringing quietude to the soul,
acceptance is her acquaintance -
who's only just
become known.

9 November, '10

Dark

I penetrate your eyes, searching
The dark corners of your mind
The ones you try too hard to disguise

I contemplate your face, staring
At the dark spaces deep within
The ones you try so hard to replace

Dancing in Hell, in the blackest dark
Gyrating to cause a flaming spark

Dancing with the Devil, in the darkest black
There's no light, to find your way back

I infiltrate your eyes, hunting
Those dark places in your head
The ones you try too hard to hide

A mile walk through muggy July woods
standing dead timber draws nearer
as we reach the marshy shore
of our flooded destination

We wade wearing tennis shoes and jeans
into water whose coolness is welcome
and whose familiar depths are known

One single voice cries in the night
Bless me Father for I have sinned
I’ve traded my soul
For one night of lust

Another answers
To whom do you pray
To save what is now mine

Amid the writhing creatures chants
The vile stench of the dead and dying
Permeates her nostrils
As gasps for air are heard
To what end have I come
All for the sake of wanting
Was it worth
This!

Incantations to the Dark One
Rise as I fall
Deeper and deeper