Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
I am a rock,
just standing alone.
Basking out there
within the unknown.
Like a sunflower standing
alone in a field.
I can't help but feel
it all seems surreal.
Pretending to be
something we're not!
We all have some
cards left to deal!.
Let the fires that come
burn us up.
A shadow upon a wall
like the old Hiroshima
What done has been done.
The future repeats
and reveals our undoing.
And opens the seventh seal!.
Leslie
7 months 3 weeks ago
Seventh seal!
Another doomsday prophecy fulfilled or nearly so, but not mine!
Candlewitch
7 months 3 weeks ago
Dear John,
in this line I would remove the word (just) just standing alone. As just is a filler word and does not add to the meaning or smoothness of the line.
in this line: What done has been done. I would change: What to What's and remove (has)
these are just suggestions to be considered. It is completely up to you to either make the changes or not. It is your poem.
these are my favorite lines:
Like a sunflower standing
alone in a field.
I can't help but feel
it all seems surreal.
are you all right, my friend?
please p.m. me if you need to talk...I am a great confidential listener, much love, Cat xxx