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loved
By loved, 14 February, 2011

Valentine Ages Away

Such beauty resounds
In the eyes of lovers,
Who know the value of love.
Time severs,
Bones ache,
The forehead frowns permanently
The receding hairline indicates,
The once dense forest
That did exist,
Then when both lovers see
Fading lips
Twitching eyes
And
Can't see you dear
My spectacles are smashed,
You can’t hear,
But how happy we both are
We can smile...

Words unuttered
You know what I need.
Love glows in your eyes still
That’s all I want from you
Many Valentines have flown by
The Thames,
The Mississippi,
The Ganges,
The ebbing life
Still wants you more now,
Than ever before
Come love
Be my Valentine once more
Tonight as we merge.

The revision is worth it

mand

mand

14 years 5 months ago

Hi Loved

This is so wonderful, I soo relate to this poem. ( Don't tell anyone though! ) Lol

Such beauty resounds in the eyes of lovers,
Who know the value of love?
Time severs, Yep!
Bones ache,
The forehead frowns permanently ( tick that box )
The balding head indicates,
The past dense forest once it did exist,
Then when both lovers see
Fading lips
Twitching eyes
And
Can i see you dear? ( tick that box )
My spectacles are broken,
You can’t hear,
But how happy we both are, ( tick that box )
We can smile
Words unuttered
You know what I need.

I just love all of this poem - it's honesty, it's niceness, it is just lovely. ( Not just saying that ).

Smiles all around.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxx

loved

loved

14 years 5 months ago

A poet feels elated,

A poet feels elated,
If as one as much as appreciates,
A title a word or a sentence,
You have appreciated the whole poem.

It’s been worth my while,
My deafness brings,
Now no fears,
My failing eyes sight
A self projection,
Now brings no tears.

You have fanned my ego
Mand,
I wish I could come
and
hold your hand.

Thanks once again,
For once in a while,
I write poetry,
Which is not?
My usual style

loved

loved

14 years 5 months ago

A poet feels elated, if as one as much as appreciates a title a

A poet feels elated,
If as one as much as appreciates,
A title a word or a sentence,
You have appreciated the whole poem.

It’s been worth my while,
My deafness brings,
Now no fears,
My failing eyes sight
A self projection,
Now brings no tears.

You have fanned my ego
Mand,
I wish I could come
and
hold your hand.

Thanks once again,
For once in a while,
I write poetry,
Which is not?
My usual style

S

scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

hello

You have done well in describing love lasting through the frailties of age. I think lines 6 and 7 could use a bit of work though. maybe something like :
balding head gives no indication
of past dense forest once there
just an idea to consider....................scribbler

loved

loved

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks

It has been totally revised as suggested .
Better may be