brittle light

Nov 13, 2013 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Slumming

neon webs
bounce, the boom
a blended haze

saturday slinkers
crowding
burst of youthful lust

horns and hubbub
the splash and spill

drums pounding
deep into the wilds

the joint's gone high-octane

swelling
hot

joy's ragged edge
feral
uninhibited

exhilerating

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

Comments

mand

11 years 11 months ago

Hi Brittle Light

This is a tonic for a winters day! All the joy, sights, sounds and colours roll together in a joyful carnival party.

Love the language and imagery.

Thanks for sharing!

Love Mand xxxx

brittle light

11 years 10 months ago

Hello Mand

thank you so much for your thoughts

I do appreciate them....even though this reply is so late....my bad! (manners)

Ian.T

11 years 11 months ago

Loved the write, but do I detect a little laze there when using "feral" as a single line.
There are quite a few poets using this word, leaving it up to the reader to make their own picture of a very wide scope.
Am I being picky here when I would rather have three words than one to describe something ?????
If I am just ignore me, lol Yours Ian

brittle light

11 years 10 months ago

Ian

I shan't ever intentionally ignor you....Just simply disagree sometimes

thanks for at least making me re-think my position, and choices.

sorry for the late responce

Seren

11 years 11 months ago

Al

There is so much to like about this poem, I loved it and I adored the ending it felt exhilarating ;)

nothing to crit, except I disagree with Ian's comment on feral (sorry Ian lol) I like it on its own, giving all the imagery that goes with it and for me it sets up the ending perfectly

I have to give you kudos I loved it

love JC xxx

Ian.T

11 years 11 months ago

JC

Damn xx

Seren

11 years 11 months ago

Ian

Sorry lol xxx

brittle light

11 years 10 months ago

JC

thanks...my hero (heroine) coming to my rescue from mean ol' Ian...His reputation is now suspect!!!

glad you enjoyed the piece

Ian.T

11 years 10 months ago

Al

My cave is dark and deep
I retreated for a sleep
A rest from all my friends
Who have taunted me no end.

My snores never reach the doors
As there ain't any on a cave
I love all my friends they keep me alive.
So you're lucky Digit is here with me
I will let him free after xmas you see

So you'd better stay my friends
or come to nasty ends lol
He can be a lovely fellow.
Of late he's been quite mellow
Though I think he's a funny guy and quite
Feral
La la..
Have a lovely Christmas and my love to all those around you,
Yours Ian.T

brittle light

11 years 10 months ago

Ian

and Merry Christmas to you and all Merry ol' England!

Lenny of Cohen

11 years 4 months ago

Yep!

Liked this a lot!