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brittle light
brittle light
Nov 13, 2013 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Slumming

neon webs
bounce, the boom
a blended haze

saturday slinkers
crowding
burst of youthful lust

horns and hubbub
the splash and spill

drums pounding
deep into the wilds

the joint's gone high-octane

swelling
hot

joy's ragged edge
feral
uninhibited

exhilerating

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

More from this author

Comments

mand

mand

11 years 8 months ago

Hi Brittle Light

This is a tonic for a winters day! All the joy, sights, sounds and colours roll together in a joyful carnival party.

Love the language and imagery.

Thanks for sharing!

Love Mand xxxx

brittle light

brittle light

11 years 7 months ago

Hello Mand

thank you so much for your thoughts

I do appreciate them....even though this reply is so late....my bad! (manners)

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 8 months ago

Al

Loved the write, but do I detect a little laze there when using "feral" as a single line.
There are quite a few poets using this word, leaving it up to the reader to make their own picture of a very wide scope.
Am I being picky here when I would rather have three words than one to describe something ?????
If I am just ignore me, lol Yours Ian

brittle light

brittle light

11 years 7 months ago

Ian

I shan't ever intentionally ignor you....Just simply disagree sometimes

thanks for at least making me re-think my position, and choices.

sorry for the late responce

Seren

Seren

11 years 8 months ago

Al

There is so much to like about this poem, I loved it and I adored the ending it felt exhilarating ;)

nothing to crit, except I disagree with Ian's comment on feral (sorry Ian lol) I like it on its own, giving all the imagery that goes with it and for me it sets up the ending perfectly

I have to give you kudos I loved it

love JC xxx

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 8 months ago

JC

Damn xx

Seren

Seren

11 years 8 months ago

Ian

Sorry lol xxx

brittle light

brittle light

11 years 7 months ago

JC

thanks...my hero (heroine) coming to my rescue from mean ol' Ian...His reputation is now suspect!!!

glad you enjoyed the piece

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 7 months ago

Al

My cave is dark and deep
I retreated for a sleep
A rest from all my friends
Who have taunted me no end.

My snores never reach the doors
As there ain't any on a cave
I love all my friends they keep me alive.
So you're lucky Digit is here with me
I will let him free after xmas you see

So you'd better stay my friends
or come to nasty ends lol
He can be a lovely fellow.
Of late he's been quite mellow
Though I think he's a funny guy and quite
Feral
La la..
Have a lovely Christmas and my love to all those around you,
Yours Ian.T

brittle light

brittle light

11 years 7 months ago

Ian

and Merry Christmas to you and all Merry ol' England!