Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Apr 30, 2011
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Bridging the gap
In the dying light of your voice,
the sky wings away
silhouettes my bones;
I suck at marrow
of small gods
flesh the north wind, so pure,
inside my mouth:
the sun picks at my eyes,
gently
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: [This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Nevel
14 years 11 months ago
Hi Shirley, thank you for
Hi Shirley, thank you for your kind words.
Greetings,
Erwin
(a poem a day keeps the doctor away)
49reasons
14 years 12 months ago
hello Nevel
great to see you here posting too.
no critique from me... I like this just the way it is.
.
Nevel
14 years 12 months ago
Hi Juls thanks you and good
Hi Juls thanks you and good to see you here also.
Took a few days how this site works, so far I really like the whole concept of workshopping.
Erwin
(a poem a day keeps the doctor away)
CCfire
14 years 12 months ago
As always your brevity
As always your brevity astounds sometimes.
Nevel
14 years 12 months ago
Thank you Chez ....well, that
Thank you Chez ....well, that's a great compliment. Awesome site this, thanks for inviting me.
Erwin
(a poem a day keeps the doctor away)
CCfire
14 years 12 months ago
No problems
I am so glad to hear you say that, I think it's a keeper too, won't be going back to the other one anytime soon other than to read.
weirdelf
14 years 11 months ago
love the synaesthesic metaphor of the first line!
A real gem of a poem, I humbly apologise for being unable to offer any constructive feedback.
Nevel
14 years 11 months ago
Hi Jess, thank you for your
Hi Jess, thank you for your kind words.
Greetings,
Erwin
(a poem a day keeps the doctor away)
weirdelf
14 years 11 months ago
(a poem a day keeps the doctor away)
It works! I write my poems on bricks and throw them at him. [grins]
Nevel
14 years 11 months ago
lol .....the poor doctor...
lol .....the poor doctor...
pleiades
14 years 11 months ago
how lovely this is
how lovely this is
from your wonderful opening line, i was
captivated
there's a delicacy about this write
that is very persuasive
it's introspective, without being
indulgent
it invites the reader to wonder
it's like a moment, stilled in time
completely enjoyed
cheers
p