Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
May 05, 2011
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
"Tomorrows Breath"
Plastic feelings,
long ago melted.
Dried prisms,
turned to crystal.
Obsolete dreams gone,
a fantasy replaced.
Fated words,
never again pass lips.
Once forgotten,
time holds no meaning.
Beyond our reality,
into tomorrows breath.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: A very short poem, and another attempt at freeverse.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
KINGZOMBIE
14 years 1 month ago
Thank you Shirl ...
I'm glad you liked it, I'm not too comfortable with freeverse yet.Your comment means a lot to me, thanks again Shirl:-)
Geezer
14 years 1 month ago
You could've...
fooled me! This looks like you are very comfortable with free verse. Excellent work, my friend! I really enjoyed this, and got a lot of emotion from it, which is why we write. ~ Gee
KINGZOMBIE
14 years 1 month ago
Thank you Gee ...
I'm glad you enjoyed it, Ive been applying the lessons Ive been learning here.
Candlewitch
14 years 1 month ago
Dear KZ
This poem flows with a natural grace and ease. My favorite lines are:
Once forgotten,
time holds no meaning.
Beyond our reality,
into tomorrows breath.
and once we are forgotten, we exist no more. One of the reasons to be a creator of art...through our work we become immortal! I really like this one. I have no suggestions, just appreciation for the work.
always, Cat
KINGZOMBIE
14 years 1 month ago
Thank you Cat ...
I'm glad you liked it, and may I add that you seem to be liking all the same lines that I do, lol.Thanks again Cat:-)
Janice Pearce
14 years 1 month ago
KINGZOMBIE
I enjoyed this one from you, the fifth line" obsolete dreams gone" does throw me a bit, just my opinion :)
KINGZOMBIE
14 years 1 month ago
Glad you enjoyed it ...
The fifth line, it makes sense if you've ever felt this way.I appreciate you stopping in and commenting.
KINGZOMBIE
14 years 1 month ago
Why hello Rosi:-)
I don't know about it being my best ever, but I wont argue, lol.I like the title too, thanks Rosi:-)