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"Tomorrows Breath"

Plastic feelings,
long ago melted.
Dried prisms,
turned to crystal.

Obsolete dreams gone,
a fantasy replaced.
Fated words,
never again pass lips.

Once forgotten,
time holds no meaning.
Beyond our reality,
into tomorrows breath.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A very short poem, and another attempt at freeverse.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Favorite Poets: I have many favorite poets but I like Poe the most.I would also feel wrong if I didn't include music to this also, for I find it to be of great inspiration.These are lyrics to a song by Monster Magnet called Ozium, it never fails to put me in the writing mood and thought I would share it, lol., " I'm up to my brain in the mire of an ancient swamp, Pteranadon smiles at me and flies up to god, Baby let me drink deep from your globes of reality, Writhe your naked ass to the mindless groove, baby give your tongue a taste and follow me up to my room, the bullgod has your head, and baby thats just fine, now it is time, we became the mighty cell, wrap those hungry jacks? to the mindless groove, they say we've got a lifetime, but we know that ain't true, I will not be denied, I will not be denied, baby, the faster you gyrate the faster we'll be there, arms up overhead, a goddess in the ancient song, work that mighty world to the mindless groove, they say weve got a life time but we know that ain't true, I will not be denied, I will not be denied, they say weve got a lifetime, but we know that ain't true, I will not be denied I will not be denied"

More from this author

Comments

KINGZOMBIE

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 1 month ago

Thank you Shirl ...

I'm glad you liked it, I'm not too comfortable with freeverse yet.Your comment means a lot to me, thanks again Shirl:-)

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 1 month ago

You could've...

fooled me! This looks like you are very comfortable with free verse. Excellent work, my friend! I really enjoyed this, and got a lot of emotion from it, which is why we write. ~ Gee

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

14 years 1 month ago

Dear KZ

This poem flows with a natural grace and ease. My favorite lines are:

Once forgotten,
time holds no meaning.
Beyond our reality,
into tomorrows breath.

and once we are forgotten, we exist no more. One of the reasons to be a creator of art...through our work we become immortal! I really like this one. I have no suggestions, just appreciation for the work.

always, Cat

KINGZOMBIE

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 1 month ago

Thank you Cat ...

I'm glad you liked it, and may I add that you seem to be liking all the same lines that I do, lol.Thanks again Cat:-)

Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

14 years 1 month ago

KINGZOMBIE

I enjoyed this one from you, the fifth line" obsolete dreams gone" does throw me a bit, just my opinion :)

KINGZOMBIE

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 1 month ago

Why hello Rosi:-)

I don't know about it being my best ever, but I wont argue, lol.I like the title too, thanks Rosi:-)