Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
After the quartet
After the quartet:
As one long note, bowed to thinning silence,
We politely held applause, watched these magicians
Who flout all laws of natural science,
And float above our quiet adulation.
We got home, drawn of emotion, that such
Profound things as these could be given
To a silence that filled an empty hall before,
Then put the radio on, in the want of more.
We listened to Chopin and the rain as ever
Poured, in this neck of wood, strummed, lapping
Ceaseless - almost, then came perceived calm,
I realized, of course, it was the audience clapping;
Matching the rain in it’s random pattern,
And indistinguishable from the downpour
After the last and finest thinning note
Had been lightly given, to rain, to listener
And all who adored, endured, held scores
By degrees we soared, then fell like sopranos,
From warm to cold, to cease,
In the freezing seethe that grips us
Heart-held , astonished after an old song
Had ebbed, loved, watched learned,
And left the audience cold, in space
Yet within, fired and in spite of all weather
Yearning to stay in that time, that flow, in place.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Poem submitted to ABC radio Australia. Not pushed it out anywhere (I think).
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
5 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Ruby Lord
5 months 3 weeks ago
What a lovely detailed and
What a lovely detailed and imaginative way to describe a musical performance. I loved the way you used the rain and the audience to tie the experience together. It really made me sense the music you were listening to. Ruby xxx :)
vandiemenspeak
4 months 4 weeks ago
Thank you.
As I mentioned to Lavender, I have been a bit preoccupied, so sorry for the late reply. I will certainly have a look at your work. Thanks for the feedback, take care,
Chris
Lavender
5 months 3 weeks ago
After the Quartet
I like the build up in this. A crescendo, not only in the actual music, which is well imagined here, but also in you. The feeling of joy and adoration is so nicely described. The title is perfect, leaving us to understand the delight will be felt for a very long time.
Thank you!
Lavender
vandiemenspeak
4 months 4 weeks ago
Glad you enjoyed!
It was a great night, a couple of years ago. I will get back into reading and commenting l. Thanks again, take care,
Chris