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May 28, 2025
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What Freaks Me Out
Rats with long tails,
clowns with rainbow hair,
dogs with ferocious fangs
and massive men with
bitty beards,
tarantulas with hairy legs
and Dwelf cats,
but what scares me most
is a life without you.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
neopoet
4 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem lists a series of fears, moving from concrete, tangible images to a more abstract, emotional fear. The progression from rats and clowns to "life without you" is clear, but the connection between these specific fears and the final emotional fear could be strengthened. Consider clarifying why these particular images were chosen or how they relate symbolically or emotionally to the final line. Additionally, the poem might benefit from more vivid or unexpected descriptions to deepen the reader's engagement and enhance the emotional impact of the conclusion.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
4 weeks ago
I understand...
this one for sure. A scary feeling to know that someone you love, could leave you in this world alone. You delivered. ~ Geez.
.
kowque
3 weeks 6 days ago
Yoh!
This hit hard.
I felt it in my bones
Punkyfrewster
3 weeks 6 days ago
Thank you!
I appreciate your comments, but read it again with the edits. I added some alliteration. Please, let me know if it packs the same punch!
Wallyroo92
3 weeks 5 days ago
What Freaks Me Out
I dig that you listed those creepy factors that freak out most of us, and yet the closing lines make it a relatable emotion that all of us have that special someone we'd hate to be without.
Excellent work.
Punkyfrewster
3 weeks 4 days ago
Wallyroo92,
Thank you for reading my work! I love your feedback. It is encouraging.