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I just wish that he knew

Long black hair in his eyes
I know that he’s trying not to cry
He tells me all his hopes and fears
Some of the hardest things I’ve had to hear
He thinks he’s a loser but he has no clue
I just wish he knew…

He has saved me from my darkest hours
Gave me hugs and brought me flowers
My bones were broken and I was scared
He was there to fix my hair
I was hurt and betrayed
He taught me how to trust and be brave

His hands are shaking
He tells me of his dreams he can’t achieve
About all the things he wants and needs
He says he’s worthless and wasting time
I hope he knows I’m glad he’s mine

He’s sweet and smart
From him I wo’nt part
He’s the one closest to my heart
His love has enslaved me
He’s my angel sent to save me
I only wish that he knew…

— evil18angel, Aug 23, 2007

Critiques

Frost Smith

Frost Smith

18 years 9 months ago

Welcome to the site, I like

Welcome to the site, I like this, its been my experience that when a person doesn't know how much they mean to someone that is when they at their most real, a good twist on a love, best of luck
J

JulieMcCarty

18 years 9 months ago

I really like it

I like it and I think the rhyming is good. It says a lot with out to many extra words. Keep it the way it is. :)
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 9 months ago

Welcome!

I really like this - powerfully written - great rhyming and imagery - I think the structure you have used works really well.. He has saved me from my darkest hours Gave me hugs and brought me flowers My bones were broken and I was scared He was there to fix my hair I was hurt and betrayed He taught me how to trust and be brave This beautiful! Kaz
JB

Jillian Botha

18 years 9 months ago

WOW!!!!!!!!!!

Hey i loved this, stunning write, good imagery used and i hope you showed this write to the person it was intended for...... cos this speaks straight from your heart!! Mistakes happen, do not dwell on them, live them, mourn them and move on to better things. (PS: if that does not work eat lots and lots of chocolate)

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