The End

There are many people in this community of poets who sometimes have felt the same way you did on that day, its ok to feel, I am not respondsible for my thoughts & feelings, they come and go as they please; However; I am accountable for my actions, so if you think you are going to cross a line between thinking about doing something and actully doing it please get help, it is out there if you want it.

that you say in your poem that you believe in heaven, and I am happy about that. On days when you feel so alone and sad like you have noone, know that the Lord is always there and hears our prayers but we must be willing to listen to Him also. He puts people in our way to help us find what we are looking for. If you seek you will find! I hope you do not have to many more of those days when you feel alone and noone cares about you because that is so not true. God loves and cares for all of His children everyday. Please talk to someone about your feelings because you are important to this world and the longer you stay in it the greater place it will be. Any time you need to talk you can write to me if you want to. Wishing you many days of happiness. Julie

and share your pain,when there is noone know you are someone. Then be so to you! In Ink, David

Your poem is good and nice take a trip to Mars and sky through your poetry and take us with you

but unfortunately that does not make this good poetry. Thank you for being so brave to share your feelings but you might want to read some poetry cheers, Jess

What I would like to suggest is you have a look at your use of rhyming couplets, which need to be very carefully handled when conveying deep feelings or the work can end up sounding sentimental. The other thing is scansion, see how the last line runs so much longer than the others, it spoils the flow. The other lines could possibly use some editing too. Hope this helps. cheers, Jess