Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

From a begger's bowl

   From a begger’s bowl

==================

It may be eleven of night of that village

He sat and began to eat from his bowl.

His food was a mixture of several varities for

that he trainned his tongue to his food

To add some taste he ran to a house for salt and

returned to his place for eating, shocked

His bowl with meals was found missing

with that salt ,He searched with hunger

Tears hidden his sight and searched again

At  the corner of that street,

a child with hunger was eating with urge.

It’s appearance is not poorand dressed better but

it’s speed was more worse than his hunger

He consoled himself and add his salt in his bowl

that child smiled with …….   ……..   ……….

 

SAKTHI RAVICHANDRAN

Last three words are left blank to the reader’s contribution.

yes the hungry of the child is too worse than that begger

a begger can get his meal atleast once ina day

but that child is from a local low income labour group hece it’s starvation is very very cruel

 

 

 

— SAKTHEEE2007, Sep 16, 2007

Critiques

P

purplemoondoll

18 years 9 months ago

Great Story

Hi there Sakkthee. As always this is a beautiful piece of writing and I love the story you have told here. 'The child smiled with gratitude and understanding' would be my contribution to the end. I think its worth rechecking the poem though as there are some typing and spelling errors here but apart from that excellent work. Kaz x
B

barbsdad2003

18 years 8 months ago

Ravi:

Again, your theme---and storytelling knack---is/are quite commendable. I love the way you root for the underdog(s). At the same time, you at least in part offer to educate Americans who are all-unknowing. You are indeed a mature man of good heart. Thanx again, Grandpa
S

SAKTHEEE2007

18 years 8 months ago

THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENTS MY GRANDPA

Dear grandpa Thanks a lot for your comments mercy and kindness are universal in nature poverty and hunger are also the curse of this world How far I have developed in my poetry can you give me your openion please.

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.