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My Last Prayer

God where are you,

Are you here,

God where are you,

Are you near

If you’re listening,

(I know you’re listening)

Then please,

Hear out my very last prayer:

 

Now,

I know I’m not perfect,

I know I’m not pretty,

I know I talk a lot,

And what I say is almost never witty,

I know these rhymes I’m writing,

Are slightly pathetic,

But Lord,

Listen to me now,

Don’t be apathetic:

 

I’m taking my last breath now Lord,

I’m gulping down some air,

And Lord I hope you’re waiting,

Waiting for me somewhere way up there,

Because I’ve got a question, Lord,

Just one last request:

 

Could make the world a better place,

Than the world I’ve known today,

For you see Lord,

(I know you see Lord,)

Someone decided to stab me in the back,

Someone decided to hurt my friends,

Someone decided to hurt my family,

Someone decided to murder me,

Today, Lord, Today

 

Could you make the world a happier place,

Dry the tears from the eyes of those who cry,

Cry out for love,

Cry out for tranquility,

Cry out for peace,

Cry out for joy,

Dry their tears, Lord, Dry their tears

 

Could you give the people of this world,

The strength,

The power,

The love,

To reform themselves,

To reform our world,

And to realize,

It’s about love,

 

It’s about love,

Not about gender,

Not about culture,

But about love.

But about that feeling that fills a person,

That spreads warmth through a frozen body,

That makes even the most broken person,

Work again,

That will make our broken world,

Be whole again.

It’s about you , Lord, It’s about love.

 

So now my last breath is done,

And I hope you’ve heard this small prayer,

And I hope you will give us power,

And I hope you will make the living people know:

That you do, truly care.

 

— Gentle Storm, Jan 23, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: Michigan/USA

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Critiques

RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 4 months ago

Last Prayer

A bit of background before I comment ... I was raised Catholic and once had powerful faith in everything that I was taught. Over the years my faith has changed. There are more questions than answers for me now, and I had made my peace with that. That said, your poem took me back to a time when I believed without question. The strength within your words and the plea of a true believer for the salvation of a world that all too often betrays is impressive. For a moment, I could be that person praying; making that plea. Your rhythm is a bit uneven, but I think it works here. You don't need a perfect pattern to make this poem heard. In the third stanza, something about the word "gulping" detracts from the grace of the poem. It seems too casual. Fourth stanza, I think you left out "you." Seventh stanza, the use of "But" in two repetitive lines seems too wordy. Perhaps try "But about love _ that feeling that fills a person." Your last stanza could give a stronger conclusion, mostly because it doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the piece due to the drastic difference in pattern. I know that I said pattern isn't necessarily important throughout this piece, but it is extremely noticable here. Maybe consider a different approach with the same conclusion. Thank you for giving me one moment tonight where I remember something that was once so very important to me. ~Ronda

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