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Dead Silence

Thes air is cold,

This world is dead,

Beautiful roses,

Adorned with thorns,

So beautiful to look at,

So painful to the touch,

‘Tis the tale of everything,

In a world,

Wrapped up,

In a desolate,

Dead silence

 

The sky is black,

The tress are bare,

And these dead children,

Aren’t going anywhere,

They’ll just lie here frozen,

Waiting for someone to release them,

From this world of desolate,

Dead silence

 

Her heart is cold,

And his is broken,

Her glass is empty,

His glass full,

But in this world,

This dead, dry land,

No glass exists,

There is nothing to be filled,

Yet no one cares; they’re all dead,

And wrapped in a blanket,

Of misery and sadness,

In this world of desolate,

Dead silence.

— Gentle Storm, Jan 23, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: Michigan/USA

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Critiques

I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 4 months ago

Dead Silence fits this I hear it in every stanza

The rhyme and pace fall apart at the end so slightly 'And wrapped in a blanket, Of misery and sadness,' perhaps '____ wrapped in blankets of misery sadness _____' the theme has progress and is originally used.Desolation is in moments anti climactic before we start to "feel better"There really are people who just give up though. The ending like the title i heard it. In ink, Dabbler
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 4 months ago

Not a sound

It is said that even silence makes a sound. If this is true, this poem must be what it sounds like. Every word has been carefully chosen to echo the silence and desolation. It is a beautiful piece in its sorrow. I do agree with David regarding the line he mentions. His suggestion is a good one and one I would make myself. Thank you for sharing this. It definitely leaves an impact upon your reader. ~ Ronda
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 4 months ago

The noise

silence rings loud and clear throughout. I really enjoyed reading this - I agree with David's suggestion too - it adds image as well as sound. I really look forward to seeinng more of your work. Welcome go the site. ;-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hello,

Wow! In this case the silence is deafening. Great job! Cat

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