Firelight

Something so magnetic -
the spark like flint and steel.
A flame so bright it's blinding,
reflecting how they feel.

A voice so smooth it's liquid,
a love so new and pure.
Lips tingling - just waiting,
fingertips unsure.

Emotions, caresses, whispers,
igniting passion's fire.
Hands, legs, hearts & souls,
entwined in this desire.

Glistening sweat and heavy breaths,
two finally joined as one.
Unstoppable, immortal.
What they have just begun.

— jillianuncensored, Jan 24, 2008

Critiques

Gentle Storm

18 years 4 months ago

I think that the rhythm was

I think that the rhythm was very, very good. I love how you describe things...the poem really reeled me in. Love it. -Gentle Storm-

Janice Pearce

18 years 4 months ago

Firelight

The spark like flint and steel,a voice so smooth it's liquid, loved these two!

purplemoondoll

18 years 4 months ago

Emotions, caresses,

Emotions, caresses, whispers, igniting passion’s fire. Hands, legs, hearts & souls, entwined in this desire. These are breathtaking lines. Awesome poetry. The rhythm and flow really add to the emotion and imagery. This is a stunning write! Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

professor

18 years 4 months ago

Fire and water

You create a very strong and fast rhythm here Jillian which combined with the imagery makes for memorable poetry. You alternate fire and water images in the verses so maybe it is not exclusively firelight even though liquid fire is a familiar concept. The last verse is very good so in answer to your question the ending is very good. The opening image of the bright sparl from striking flint is also very effective. Great poem. K

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