You Don't Deaserve To Have To Deal With This

Slit my wrists,

Cut my throat,

I don’t deserve to live,

You don’t deserve. to deal with this,

This pain I cause,

This life I lead,

NO! I don’t want drugs!

I just want to bleed,

I want my life to fade,

My heart beat wane

My eyes to close,

My breath to stop,

And to be still,

Through every “Tick.-Tock.”

Of that old clock

Slit my wrists,

Cut my throat,

I don’t want to live,

You don’t deserve to deal with this-

You don't deserve to deal with me,

I’m overwhelmed,

I’m freaking out,

I try not to yell,

Or scream, or shout

But I’m losing grip

And I’m losing it,

...

And I can’t survive,

Not like this.

— Gentle Storm, Jan 30, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: Michigan/USA

Critiques

Kieran Nelson

18 years 4 months ago

It think the one star may be

It think the one star may be a tad overzealous but I do share nearly the same view. I feel the imagery is not something I want to see or read, you can guess what lines I refer too. I feel you've been lazy in that imagery and the language used. With the way it is just now, it's laughable hyperbole. The emotions don't come through. To make it better, if that's what you wish, then I suggest going back over it and thinking back to how you felt when you wrote this, I'm sure you can find a better way to express it. Kieran "Mind, how you go!" - Roger McGough's poem for LSD Awareness Week

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