Horrid Dream

Loud sounds

Bombs blast

Thinking of you

And my past

Gun shots

People scream

Wake me up

From this horrid dream

Covered in blood and sand

I hold my M4 in my hand

Locked and loaded

I empty my clip

I reach for more ammo

Down at my hip

Bullets fly by

Grenades blast

I catch shrapnel

I dont want to die

MEDIC I scream

Where is my team

I wake up

It was just a horrid dream

— Tragic_Bliss, Feb 20, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: Idaho

Critiques

poewriter58

18 years 3 months ago

I'll say

Glad to hear it was just a dream but your poem sends a message that the guns and violence and war are just not the way small error were is my team , did you want to use where is my team Chrys

themoonman

18 years 3 months ago

Hi Tragic...

Welcome to Neopoet...I like your poems..this one to me sounds like a military excursion..a dream, but for the many that live it. This poem reads well...

RSScheerer

18 years 3 months ago

You definitely show a talent, especially in reference to the military. Reading your note explains this. Best of luck with your endeavor in that direction, and yes, may God bless all of our soldiers. Notes: "Gun shots" - one word "gunshots" You lose some of your rhythm at "Grenades blast" capitalize "i" after "MEDIC" Keep writing. I think that it will grow with you as you fulfill your life's goals. ~ Ronda

Frost Smith

18 years 3 months ago

Tragic_Magic...

Wow; powerful & very original, a great topic, not a very typical one at that. I love finding these very unique pieces of real art; you show great talent; much as I did 12 years ago, stay in touch with it; it will serve you well, but I will tell you what I was told... "You are a poet; you have a greater capicity to love and see the beauty in this world; the double edge is that you will also know the horror and saddness like no other" Keep writing

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