Ghetto Life

just one suggestion put the g where it goes This poem is an excellent depiction, it is another world the ghetto and you have given your reader a glimpse of that world You might want to consider a title change you want to grab the readers attention and the title is the first words your reader will see , find something that will make them want to stay and read Chrys

Diction fits here, I would not change it. It's a description of a world that most would not understand. Notes: Even this piece needs some punctuation correction, i.e. lose that one comma. I suspect that "around" would have too many syllables for the speech here, try moving things this way - "gangs hangin 'round" - it puts punctuation in the piece, which I would not normally suggest since it deviates from consistency, but you have to do something here to separate "hangin" and "round," if that makes sense to you. Make "gun shots" one word "gunshots." Spell "graffiti" correctly and change "too" to "on." It works better with the line, e.g. "on schools and churches" etc. Make "someones" the contraction with the apostrophe, "someone's" I'm hoping that you're taking all of this constructively. This is the best way to learn. Trust me, any author has been through it. ~ Ronda

with Ronda's suggestions- otherwise a great piece of work- I thoroughly enjoyed this read-gives a snapshot of another piece of reality. Kudos to you!!! LadyTheresa