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Killing 101

cold, angry and excited as can be,

i hold my rifle and my trusty m16.

death is near and i feel it,

nothing in the world will ever heal it.

target in sight,

soon he will be dead,

catching my bullet with his head.

i squeeze the trigger,

now he's dead.

i see the pink mist confirm.

i crawl away and head toward the bird.

i will never forget about this,

knowing his kid he will never kiss,

this job is hard you have to be bold,

takings someones life you feel so cold

— Tragic_Bliss, Feb 22, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: Idaho

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Critiques

P

poewriter58

18 years 3 months ago

I don't

advocate poems that condone killing , but as far as the way it is written it is a fair write correct the errors as stated previously Chrys
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 3 months ago

Killing 101

Graphic, yet honest. Once again, the lack of capitalization here is not an issue for me, but that is a personal preference. Many people would argue it. Now, in this piece, "u" does not work for "you." You want a piece that indicates the responsibility of taking another life, it needs to show the maturity that such an action would require. ~ Ronda
themoonman

themoonman

18 years 3 months ago

Mr Magic...

How are ya today?...Your poem...in the second line I think you meant, I hold my rifle, my trusty M16, but it is good. My own son is in the Corp. He has served two tours in IRAQ. He is not planning on re-enlisting. He says the people are courteous and humble for the most part. If you decide to join..be ready.
T

Tragic_Bliss

18 years 3 months ago

rifle/m16

when i said rifle it is ment to be like a sniper rifle 50cal, m24 or something of that nature. $DEY KNOW$

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