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"V" day

This day is full of red, this day is full of cheer.

But for me this day is not so close and dear.

Rose petals falling, falling on my death bed.

Thoughts of lost love swirling and filling up my head.

Sweet kisses, soft hugs at my heart these thoughts do tug.

They fill me full of pain, and all I want to see, is the calm and cooling rain.

Lying on the beach, laying under the stars, thinking of the time that was labeled "ours".

Bombs and guns blasting, blasting over my head.

M4 in my hand and dressed in my blood stained camo.

We are surrounded now and running out of ammo.

This is what I've dreaded, I've dreaded all my life,

To know that I will never again be able to kiss my wife.

I hear the choppers coming, they're flying over head.

They've come to get the wounded, they've come to get the dead.

This day is full of red, this day is full of cheer.

But for me this day is not so close, and death is so near.

 

— Tragic_Bliss, Feb 22, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: Idaho

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Critiques

P

poewriter58

18 years 3 months ago

Very nice

With the exception of one or two typos this is a well thought out writing. This is very nicely written Chrys
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 3 months ago

"V" day

Nicely written with empathy and compassion. Here are your typos: "rose peddles" - "rose petals" "laying" - correct tense, "lying" "there flying" - "they're flying" typo, "com" in the third line from the last ~ Ronda
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 3 months ago

ignore this woman right above me

You've still got "they're" to fix regarding the helicopters. I know, I'm nitpicking. Wouldn't do it if I didn't think you were good enough to bother. ~ Ronda
P

poetopoet

18 years 3 months ago

poem

so close. poe
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

18 years 3 months ago

V Day

Nicely portrayed! is the last line "and death is no near" correct?

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