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O
orgami
Mar 11, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

inter urban

 

fingertip strokes the silky dark brow

the irises are cold

glacial shadows

of a thousand snows

twenty eight years

of light falling in those black

discs of non permeated

soul

 

what goes on behind

the wet lens

landscapes verdant

with information

moving with life

unimaginable and

ancient

 

plains devoid of structure

like pressed sandflowers

cracked posessions

forty five million years old

 

we know our bodies like

favourite chapters

all the cries

and whispered sighs

 

lying spent in the light from

the window

the blinds stirred by a storm

coming in

we shiver while lightening

flares far across the great

arm of lake

 

white as a new page

 

  O

 

 

— orgami, Mar 11, 2008
More from this author

Critiques

C

Calliope

18 years 3 months ago

Another...

...Beatiful peice.Bravo! Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
B

bayoujeanette

18 years 3 months ago

Very deep and thoughtful

I understand this one to be about how short our time is compared to the earth. But even so we understand ourselves and our needs. I like that thought. It really puts the rat race into focus when you think of what little time we do have. We should take time our for ourselves more. Did you mean possession instead of poseesions? That was the only question I had. Great poem. Thanks again keep them coming, Jeanette
professor

professor

18 years 3 months ago

Great poem

I really enjoyed this one and its fantastic imagery and flow. Very impressive. Keith
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 3 months ago

Hello,

To me, the lines: "i'm only here for so long" seemed superfluous. I think the poem would flow more smoothly without them. The rest of the poem is awesome! Always, Cat
A

Alobar

18 years 3 months ago

The last line snuck up on me

The last line snuck up on me and made me smile; but then a cliche I was reminded of, one I myself have been trying to avoid--writing about writing, it's been done to death. But, that was only the last line, that was not what the poem was about, was it? The incidental rhyme in the fourth stanza worked well, made it stand out more, made it thematic (or possible anit-thematic, right?) an valuable. I would need to read it a thousand more times, which would not be unpleasant, to give you more. For now, that is all I have...
O

orgami

18 years 3 months ago

poems from four years ago

fresh as a new page no white as a new page to write something?? my last stanzas are like this maybe "flares white as a new page" something like this well they are always a work in progress
themoonman

themoonman

18 years 3 months ago

Hi O...

I think this is a very good poem..loved the last line.. I could see the sky lighting up across the lake...wouldn't change anything..except some spelling...posessions. always a treat to read one of your posts..
O

orgami

18 years 2 months ago

i an only here until i am bored

tonight i am going over all of this while the fan comes on and off the hard drive clicks smooth the dark night the lcd screen glow the tapping of busy homerow keys thanks to you all for helping me fix up this old thing and Moonman thanks i fixed the word correctly to spell glad i took out the last line "I am only here for so long" this was meant to convey that I probably would not be in that relationship stay long enough to read her body her responses the love sensitivy if any but then to move out move on get asked to leave etc later i read it as on earth and then even later realize that i say these things openly all part of the talk between my mother since deceased always had to make sure i had the defences up emotionally guess she was preparing me im very mean at the heart of things despite what my poems spill forth here all the sensitive stuff came from books from ideals i have long fallen from but i keep writing keep reading all your poems here Loving this very well O
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 2 months ago

we know our bodies

we know our bodies like favourite chapters all the cries and whispered sighs These lines are awesome and bring such vivid images to my mind. I love this. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
O

orgami

18 years 2 months ago

dash in

yes the eyes so much conveyed we lead with them we gaurd with them as an artist and now i guess as a poet the eyes have great meaning not that i have not had my share of lovely creatures with eyes full of mystery and or depth chased mostly blue grey but there was one whose hue was amber and one who had a radiance of something else my lovely of late has green tinged eyes the colour of sweet water depths limestone circumferance and climbing ivy temperal and inviting there is one who has the nordic blue so many eyes so many verbs O
O

orgami

18 years 1 month ago

hmmmm

keep progressing in Neopoet cant believe I wrote this compare this to the latest thats whats so cool about this site anyway thanks all who love this poem like orphans sent on the world we all want them to do well love stopping to read here this world of words May 13 Inter urban people love this poem so glad you do and the pine tree one too always amazed at popularity never was in school or up here much in this city just quiet when i am talk lot though write lot anyway Still glad these are favourites !!!
O

orgami

17 years 8 months ago

yes the eyes

Yes glad I took out Only here for so long re reading this tonight seeing everyone anew my new freinds you were HERE then ha ha Yes I love eyes oh I so do love them must get going late here glad everyone likes this

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