rider68

Apr 14, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Toxic Times

Life living just getting by,Thoughts feelings, but still we try,Slaves to living, taxed sky high,Governments not friends to you or I,Corporations peddling human lives,Papers spewing all their lies,We’re becoming socially deprived,Soon to be caged, tagged, and de-humanized,Being watched daily,By the all Seeing Eye, Controlled like freaks,Being force-fed all their crap; …While our kids are killed;Daily performed … by gangs,In the street - drive bys,Innocence so misplaced, youth today,“Thank fuck” I’m not to be born again, Discipline respect and pride, “What’s that” they cry,Virtues’ once; …….. Held so high,Memories sadly bringing tears to one eye,People aging; yet I can hear, their cries,People dying; yet still we pass by,Kids starved, of the basics of life,Lands toiled, fertilized,Laced with arsenic and general waste,Yet they build us boxes; Homes,Around this park,Of toxic waste,

— rider68, Apr 14, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

gumpymonkey

18 years 1 month ago

life sucks

i live in a suburb of L fuckin A. this feels just like home to me. nice rant. you offer no solution, but sometimes... those of us who have seen ugliness, know. those of us that have seen ignorance know. know that there is no magic solution. it is just going to be. to be the fucking ugliness that it is. all we can do is write pretty about its ugly. good job. -Daniel

rider68

18 years 1 month ago

Thanks Daniel

Thanks for your comments, I'm glad that it conveyed well, I am from the U.K and sadly Big Brother is sucking the life and spirit out of us, seems to be going the way of a nightmarish futuristic film, From your reply, It seems that it is a global issue, I could have carried on, But to what point, Sadly we're just pawns- Thanks again Best Regards Peter

infinite_dwarf

18 years ago

Nice!

I fully maintain that Orwell just had the year wrong. “Thank fuck” I’m not to be born again.." Better hope reincarnation isn't the real deal. I don't think I would want to give this another shot either, I've got to be honest. ~Jess ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling??"

rider68

18 years ago

Hi Jess

Thanks and yes your so right, Sorry not to have responded sooner, but have had a very busy time with work, I should stay away more often.......seems like there has been quite a little debate, Best Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

weirdelf

18 years ago

I suspect that if I got re-incarnated

I would come back as a brick. Seriously though, this is just a social comment rant. Solutions, please. We can all make a difference. Demonstrate. Write letters to government. Make art that proposes better alternatives. I refer you to my all time favourite book, "The Disposessed" by Ursula Leguin cheers, Jess

rider68

18 years ago

Hi Jess

Hi Jess Yes It is a rant, But some-times thats all one has to give, It's a struggle to find a subject, a thought, worthly to pen, But that's life, If you'd care to comment on a post called (Spirit Child), It may be more to your liking, ... Thanks again Best Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

Barbara Writes

18 years ago

I agree

Smiles:) Barbara I agree with Daniel life sucks. Poem images are profound

weirdelf

18 years ago

Barbara, are you capable of saying anything more

than "that's nice"? I don't mean to be cruel, but you never, ever give critical feedback that I have seen. Perhaps I missed it. You are allowed to criticise, and you have a gift for words, use them to help us. I criticise you as a plea, this is a poetry workshop, not a pat-on-back shop. Help us get better by being harsh if you need to. cheers, Jess

Barbara Writes

18 years ago

Okay Jess

Smiles:) Barbara I got to go eat will be back with criticism though I didn't see any flaw with the first read. Maybe say why I like it is that sufficient? My friend jess

Barbara Writes

18 years ago

Poem is good

Smiles:) Barbara Much about what I wrote in some of my earlier pieces, this world is on a path to its end. Toxic times, the title well match your poem.

themoonman

18 years ago

Hi Peter...

thank you for posting this social rant.. it is truth. the only thing I could see wrong was that you place commas where they are not needed in some spots.. Toxic Times was an excellent title choice and the poem never lost the theme... as life is often toxic and more so for some. thanks for the read. Richard

rider68

18 years ago

Thanks Richard

Yes I say again a rant, but it was inspired by severals thoughts, One Being a Film, with Julia Roberts - Called (Erin Brockovich) the film based on a true story, - Of a twice-divorced mother working as a low-level secretary at a Los Angeles law firm, a chronicle of a woman, without a law degree, who takes it upon herself to fight powerful corporate forces. Hired out of sympathy after her lawyer lost her personal injury suit, Brockovich stumbled upon the cover-up involving contaminated water in a small desert community, while working at the small law firm. Brockovich tracks a case of water poisoning created by PG&E (Pacific Gas & Electric) and champions it all the way up the judicial ladder--becoming instrumental in rallying the over 600 plaintiffs and in helping them win the largest class-action suit of its type. Thanks Richard for your thoughts comments & support, Will edit, Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in