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Dick Tippers

 

I regard myself as a male feminist.
This is self-interest.
Any thinking person knows
the master is the slave.

But.

Whoever invented toilet seats that fall down
half way through a piss.
Ignominy at its height
I suspect Shere Hite

 

— weirdelf, Apr 21, 2008

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

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Critiques

Nilmini

Nilmini

18 years 1 month ago

Wow

Wow, a male feminist! You?!? I'm so sorry about the pain & the humiliation, but don't take it too personal. Jeff, You really made me laugh & also to do my home work. Thanks to you, I did some reading & now I know a whole lot about Shere Hite. Guess we all should read about her. However, don't suspect her about the toilet seat, it can't be her. :-> Cheers & thanks a lot for the given fun. Nilmini
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 1 month ago

I grew up with 5 sisters

and my best friend had Germaine Greer for a babysitter. I would have to end up a feminist or a misogynist. 8) Sher is absolved, but I bet she would giggle about it! Glad to entertain and inform, cheers, Jess
M

muttering_madwoman

18 years 1 month ago

laughed

my fucking ass off and appreciate it. thanks for the on point chuckle Niki
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 1 month ago

In my first debate class

at community collage I was first introduced to feminism, The instructor was a feminist and the debate was leaned toward those issues, I had to drop the class, eight others in the class were in line with me. This is relative, very relative and clever. In ink, dabbler
dbaker

dbaker

18 years 1 month ago

Cheers!

I just about fell off my chair when I read this! Good on ya mate! Oh damn my wife was sitting next to me having a chat when I read this to her. She had a good laugh as well. Just want you to know I think you are one of the wittiest Aussie Bastards I have met in a dog's age! All my best! DS Baker
O

orgami

18 years 1 month ago

willie wacker

yah what is it with that design anyway not to mention ineffecient hinges that are impossible to clean and why do us men forget to lower the drawbridge for our ladies Or worse just shoot from the hip and hope to make the basket and try that after just waking up from six hours of sleep in the blaring light of the bathroom and the noise it makes?? Ha ha ha ha ha ha Weirdelf you have got the damndest sense of humour I've ever met yes I laughed too long and hard great poem my brother great poem! O
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 1 month ago

Thanks guys.

I felt this was a fundamentally necessary piece to write. cheers, Jess
O

orgami

18 years 1 month ago

Permission granted Weirdelf

Please do go ahead and use the title "Willie Wacker!" Yours truly O (steven April 27 2008)
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

18 years 1 month ago

Ouch!

But lmao, sorry about your pain. Always, Cat
B

barbsdad2003

18 years 1 month ago

Methinks ...

those with the shortest appendages run, I suppose, the least risk of getting chopped---er, sharply guillotined---by a toilet trap-in-waiting. Those with the longest ones should carry a prop to put in proper place under open toilet seat before exposing themselves above the bowl. Sorry. There's that word should again. A four-letter word if ever I saw one. Thanx, Chuck
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 1 month ago

LOL, Chuck, you are the only one who noticed

that there is a brag built into this piece, yes, short appendaged males have no fear of more than inconvenient and unsanitary splashing. I presume you are referring to that six-lettered four-letter word so soundly trounced in my latest posting? cheers, Jess
B

barbsdad2003

18 years 1 month ago

I suppose one ...

could argue that upraised toilet lids, when suddenly activated by gravity (or by design, perhaps), are great equalizers when it comes to shortening longer lengths to those more average. Ultimately, I suspect, a socialist's erotic dream come true. Thanx, Chuck
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

You are the only person

who can write a poem with a damned toilet seat in it and still be taken seriously....well, semi-seriously This made me laugh in its wake, friend. Best, Ronda

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