Moonlight Dancer

You show promise in this write.. but you sure can't spell, in English anyway.. it is hard to read because I am having to figuire out even simple words.. once I did.. I liked the write. I can not spell very good either.. started putting all my poems in Word and oh my goodness the spelling corrections... Welcome to Neopoet poet.. Richard

I love the theme of the poem. I won't bother with the spelling as you already know it is a problem. I like the poem very much. My favorite lines are: Like a reveled magitian ,hipocracy of democracy And glance over the silent waves of moonlight My title suggestion is "Moonlight Dance"

You have potential the idea behind your poem is a good base starting point as for how to write better neo poet has a mentor program you may request one as for the spelling my suggestion is they have a very nice feature on this site to help with that use the spell checker I do often the suggested title change is a good one I would use it Chrys

you evince here. For you especially, a little mentor help I know will go a long way. A couple of my favorite parts of this piece: Even the blind can see thier brail And the deft hear their silent whispers ... humanity An assylm of insanity Thanx, Chuck

Does this poem have the feeling of a ballad i d'ont know pinksheep Most obliged

melodic poem Xenia-As it mends the broken path of a forgotten tale , i feel it takes a superb mind to create a line such as this , for example-My regards to you-

your poem rocks as usual, but as you know you sometimes tend to deviate from the topic towards the middle but get it back together in the end!

As promised I have begun to read and comment line by line Here we go! The suggestions for changes is in the brackets Soft as the gentle moonlight Dancing(upon) a smooth stream (find another word for dances as you have just used dancing in the previous line) Taking you through green meadows (that or which) softly gleam in the dark (the next sentence is not making sense to me what is it you would like to convey here) In the candlelit northern sky( this is a keep do not change) New stanza) Gregarious laughter a soft playful song (all I did was rearrange your words,to smooth he flow of this line) Hush, listen long(I like this keep it) To hear the harmless (merriment) Of two reacquainted friends ( I split an other wise very long sentence to give the reader time to take a breath lol) Even the blind can see their braille (excellent!) And the deaf hear their silent whispers (again excellent!!) The laughter filling their eyes with tears As they (try) to understand humanity An asylum of insanity (with a day to more war and gore) not sure where you were going with this sentence? Like a ( did you mean revealed here) (The or And the) (hypocrisy of a democracy) ( They or With a) glance over the silent waves of moolight ( who is doing the glancing here)? No desire to (agonizingly) dig their own graves They dance through the midnight starlight As if cruel mirth(does not) exist in plight use the full version not the contraction here , the contraction is to informal for the seriousness of this poem living their lives (with such) ease omit happy again to close to the Happy that begins your next sentence (For) happy is the tale of the (wind and leaves) I see the wind and leaves as a metaphor for a young boy and girl in which case I do not believe you have strayed from your subject in this poem Try re writing the poem with the corrections and see if you are happy with the way it reads or if you would like to change something after all it is your poem and a beautiful one I might say just needed a bit of polishing up also may I suggest use use the spell checker feature before you post your poem ( believe me I do) It is a wonderful asset to this site you will find it just above your poem click on the little abc with a check mark far left as always these are merely suggestions Chrys

Hi Xenia. I really enjoyed your poem, nice technique and even better meanings. Your friend Dimitri

My spelling is bad not this bad, however my poetry is nowhere near as good as yours.I would love to be as melodic and also as playful with wistful words as you yourself, the spelling comes second place really. I can read your words even when spelt incorrectly-Regards