Butterflies and Rainbows

Butterflies and rainbows,Colours from the grey;Caught in beautiful harmonyTo brighten up the day Crystaline wings that flutterCatch the rays of a smiling sun;As would the drops of rain that fall,When the rainbow has begun The magical mystery of NatureReveals all before our eyes;In the Butterflies' awesome beautyAnd those colours that arc the skies And when sitting in the gardenMy thoughts would turn to this;Did the butterfly get its coloursWhen the rainbow it first did kiss?

— Liamb, May 11, 2008

Critiques

rider68

18 years 1 month ago

Hi Liam

I must say that your flow and thought of mind, is just brilliant, I have to say also that I have read a couple of your poems now, and I will look for your home page to read more, Thanks ….It read very well for me, Best Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

infinite_dwarf

18 years 1 month ago

You're on a roll..

You're on a roll mate - good stuff! I love butterflies. Each of them look like they're hand-painted. Nice flow here, and I warrant it would sound really good read aloud. ~Lynn (Jess K.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling??"

purplemoondoll

18 years 1 month ago

Beautiful imagery and flow.

Beautiful imagery and flow. Yes I really enjoyed this. The rhyme adds to the flow and fluid beauty of this poem. Excellent. I like the idea of the rainbows kiss to produce the butterfly colours. Great imagination. :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

georgeianxu

18 years 1 month ago

writing to sound pretty ...

...instead of trying to capture a real mood. I didn't feel any flow or get moved by this piece, and it's probably because I think you're trying to make the mood instead of letting the mood make your words flow. Technically, the meter is off from stanza 1 to 2. But you're fooling the others, so maybe I'm wrong.

Barbara Writes

18 years 1 month ago

Butterflies and rainbows

Smiles:) Barbara last two stanzas was really good I love it. the first two stanzas are good, but did not flow well with the last two. you are a really good poet I like this.

Liamb

18 years 1 month ago

Thank you

Thank you for your kind comments and critique. This was a spin off from my previous poem " And Flowers Grew". It was a random thought put down on paper. I believe that is what writing in any form is about. Not to capture a mood, not to sound "pretty", but just to paint a simple picture with words. If others enjoy that picture, I am happy. If not, then I am still happy that they at least took time to read my words and make a constructive comment. Thank you again Liam

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