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M
MEL

Hungarian Salami and Tim-Tam

I have a little tale to tell
it really is quite funny,
about a yummy scrummy Tim-Tam
and some smelly Hungarian Salami.

This day I packed my lunch box
these treats I'd enjoy at work,
but I didn't consider the danger
MAN, was I a jerk!

In eager anticipation
I scrambled from my post,
it was the lure of the Tim-Tam
that attracted me the most.

As I opened up my lunch box
there was only ONE explanation,
the Tim-Tam and Salami
had suffered cross contamination!

"How DARE you be so smelly" I huffed
as I threw that Tim-Tam down,
I looked at it with disbelief
and a disappointed frown.

For everyone around me
it was the funniest sight they'd seen,
but I decided to take my Tim-Tam home
to hide in the fridge, on a tub of margarine.

There it sat for days on end
cold, but content in it's glory,
some were tempted to eat it
until I told them the Salami story.

And now the fate of my Tim-Tam
is somewhat dim and unknown.
We auctioned it off at a party,
and some silly bastard took it home!

— MEL, May 18, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: USA - Florida

More from this author

Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

18 years ago

Hi Mel...

enjoyed your story.. I would probobly like it more if I knew what a tim-tam was... please forgive an ignorant american and tell me why I am feeling sorry for that poor bastard that picked it up.. Richard
M

MEL

18 years ago

TIM TAM

Mel Inwood Yummy chocolate biscuit...mmmmmm the best! Contaminated tho? Not so good, the poor bastard didn't realise it had been in the fridge for over 2 weeks...hahaha. Hey if you like chocolate biscuits, you should try get some imported. GOOGLE TIM-TAM made by Arnotts CHEERS MEL x
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

18 years ago

Mel

You brought a smile to my face which is what I think you wanted to accomplish!
Kailashana

Kailashana

18 years ago

me too.. loved the story…

me too.. loved the story... delectable...even with cross-contamination lol. btw anything Hungarian is good in my Book, my chicken paprikash goes back generations and generations... all the way to Atilla. Smiles, ~Anna
M

MEL

18 years ago

Hi Anna

Mel Inwood TIM TAM...is good for alot of things....CHOCOLATE biscuit, covered with chocolate with a chocolate cream center!!! OH YEAH SOOOOOO GOOD!... GOOD FOR... Heartbreak, munchies, they make you feel good inside, healing all wounds, mental emotional and physical... WARNING...they ARE addictive~ Made by ARNOTTS <<<< GOOGLE that, and you should be able to find them Cheers Anna, I hope you discover the BLISS soon xx Mel
Kailashana

Kailashana

18 years ago

ok… that does it… a

ok... that does it... a woman's best friend IS chocolate. i have a net friend, who insists on sending me chocolate vibrations any time i'm in a funk... which is a lot lately...and Bliss... i can always use some buckets of that. ;-) You remind me of me when i was young... attitude & picture.. I have relatives in Australia that I've never met... and some poets, know one by the name of Manfred Williams?... I understand most of Australian poetry is rhyming... he told me about http://www.bushverse.com/clubs.html ~Anna
M

MEL

18 years ago

ATTITUDE

Mel Inwood I have plenty of that. I'm on FACEBOOK if you want a friend add me Mel Inwood there you will discover a little more about me. x Cheers Anna, Mel
professor

professor

18 years ago

Mel

I can see your smile has a waspish sense of humour to go with it.lol. Your poem also made me smile and i can imagine your poor bastard purchaser's face when he takes a bite and tastes the soggy contradiction....although i confess to being a little bemused as to how your Tim-Tam was successfully auctioned in the first place....perhaps because it was marketed as "Mel's Tim-Tam"? If so you might just have lost a potential suitor. lol....although after all those beers and guys having an inferior sense of taste who knows. Keith
M

MEL

18 years ago

Gotta love that

Mel Inwood Sense of humour is a great thing. Life was meant to make us laugh majority of the time... AThe auction took place at her 30th birthday, so yeah by the end of the night people were hungry and looking for food, someone found the buscuit in the fridge and yelled out I HAVE CHOCOLATE...well you can imagine the RIOT that errupted..hahaha, those boys fought over it, so we decided to auction it off, unbeknown to the ugly past of the tim tam...hahahaha..oh gotta love it! Melx
RW

Raymond J Warren

18 years ago

Mel and Tim Tams

The poem was alright but I think Mel works for Arnotts, they aint that good. Rayw1
M

MEL

18 years ago

No I don't

Mel Inwood I SO don't work for Arnotts sorry! I was just trying to help the people who don't know what TIM TAMS are discover them! that's all...gee whiz..not trying to give them a plug or anything...lol
Kailashana

Kailashana

18 years ago

Attitude…we don’t need

Attitude...we don't need no stinking attitude!! I have not delved into facebook yet...so many blogs, mypages, groups, pray tell, what should I do with myself first? lol. Perhaps I'll check out that Tim-Tam thingy and be forever lost in that blissful taste... :-)
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years ago

Salami Timtam, eeeww

hey Mel, its seems I've been reading your work backwards, love this, also love that the Americans talk about brand names willy-nilly and expect us to understand them. Strike one for Anti-american brand imperialism! If any of you Americans get you hands on a timtam, bight off each end and use it as a straw to suck up Kahlua. Sweet alcoholic grossness to the max! cheers, Jess
M

MEL

18 years ago

All Good mate!

Mel Inwood Oh my god I SOOOOOOOOO have to try that Kahlua slammer. I do what I call THE TIM TAM SLAMMER...bite opposite corners off, and stick one in the coffee and suck it through the TIM TAM then slam it in your mouth...You have to do this in one swift motion because the tim tam will melt and fall apart in one big sloppy mess either on you or in your coffee...but OH GOD it's HEAVEN!!!!! Mel
M

MEL

18 years ago

Not sure

Mel Inwood What the auction brought? Not sure what you mean by that? cheers MEL

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