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Nightmares

            I close my eyes
            the nightmare begins
            thousand year oaks
            awaken.
        
            Drifting away
            in this spiritual wake
            each epileptic flash
            reveals a petrified face.

            Wise men, witch's
            and fairies
            riding on the backs
            of fallen leaves.

            Bearded elders
            reclaiming the past
            with crescent moon eyes
            and skin made of ash.

            This is the place
            where the dead live again
            and the chants of the dying
            turn trees into men.

 

                                                                                 
                                                                           
— DarkinAZ, May 21, 2008

Critiques

D

DarkinAZ

18 years ago

Thank you

I was kinda going for the mystical, fairy tale, kinda magical feel. Sounds like that tone came across well. Glad you enjoyed. Sincerely, Mark
P

poewriter58

18 years ago

Mark

You did convey your thought here quite well but it sounds like a nightmare was that what you were going for? Chrys
D

DarkinAZ

18 years ago

Not really,

I was struggling with a couple title options : Enchanted forest, witching hour or the gathering. Was supposed to be like a group of witches meeting in the forest for a night of rituals ect... It does contain the fairy tale feel also so I went with this title. Thank you. Your friend, Mark You know Chrys, I been thinking and rereading and I love your take on this I am officially changing the title and adding a small edit. Thanks for your input! Sincerely, Mark
C

Calliope

18 years ago

Hey Mark,

Great write! Loved this one!Wonderful Imagery. *smiles* Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
D

DarkinAZ

18 years ago

Thanks!

I am thrilled to write one that captured one of Calliope's comments, it's been awhile...good to hear from you! Sincerely, Mark
C

Calliope

18 years ago

LOL!

Sorry ,i've just been skimming lately and writing more.I havent commented on very many in a while,I'm self-exploring,lol.Trying to find my voice.This was one that caught my eye,I really like the tone and mood set here.It's very good,IMO. Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
D

DarkinAZ

18 years ago

Thank you

Sincerely, Mark
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

18 years ago

nightmare

Smiles:) Barbara i did not see the nightmare either. but is interesting with fairy tale mix with witches and wise men riding on backs of fallen leaves. rather magical. great write, images that flow very nicely.
D

DarkinAZ

18 years ago

Thank you!

I am happy you you liked. I have recieved mixed input regarding this such as : It sounds like a nightmare or it is so mystical ect... I guess it could go either way. I will leave it for now. Sincerely, Mark
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years ago

nice

"Drifting away in this spiritual wake, each epileptic flash reveals a petrified face" - Great stanza. Really enjoyed this one, Mark. Leaves you feeling all dreamy-like, but edgy... like you don't know what's gonna happen. ~Jess ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling??"
D

DarkinAZ

18 years ago

LoL, Just because...

...your comments just bring a smile to me somedays. Thank you, Mark
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years ago

I aim to please

~Jess ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling??"

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