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Auguries Of Silence

My voice has been lost
In a desert swirl
My dreams have been trampled
Under the hooves of distrust
But I continue to listen
To the howling winds 
To love  the roaring sea 
To admire the setting sun
I love the warmth
Of muddy rivers
And the lingering aroma
Of the good red earth
I love the sight of a shooting star
And the mystique of Halley’s cometMessages reach me 
Through rain drops, sandstorms
And blades of grass
And through the frantic flapping
Of a humming bird’s wings
In my heart is the undying yearning
And a plaintive song
That expresses everything
To which I belong:
Take me, come take me
To where - before silence -
Conceptualization of everything
In the universe was born
Take me to where the elements are wild
To the place where I am still a child 
  
— leonard daranjo, Jun 09, 2008

Critiques

RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

We’d all love to travel

We'd all love to travel back to that place - not to be a child, but to hold the perfection of those elements in our hands once again. The word choice raises questions in a few places, "the mystique" "conceptualization" ... All things that can be edited over time; you'd see them yourself after reading again, I think. A typo in line 8 - "he" when you wanted "the" Best, Ronda
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 12 months ago

Hi Ronda

Thanks for the input and thanks too for introducing me to the Tanka. Its a fascinating form. leonard daranjo

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