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O

centerfuge



spin about the spirit of night
the dark deepness of dreams
by atomic force release
the very things buried
neath skin neath soul

till looking out
and looking back
is the seperate self

those eyes
that see
that mouth that
talks

swift current of hands
deft movements

forever stretching
darkening at the edges
like silver oxide
under the filiment

the mirrors lies

this what she sees
what she wants too
feel

where am I real??


  O

— orgami, Jun 13, 2008

Critiques

Marius Surleac

Marius Surleac

18 years ago

smart and interesting

Though, I have to make few observations: I think that there is "the mirrors lie" instead of "lies", and "what she wants to feel" instead of "too", and I think that there is "filament" instead of "filiment" best wishes, Marius
O

orgami

18 years ago

Korrekt

Yes You are most correct Mirrors Lies though I like still despite its rather shoddy showing in a poem because well damn it it does lie its a seperate reflection Maybe the camera on the computer shows a true reflection I dont know I havent thought about it enough But you like Lie and I like your comments and poems so I can change this eventually and maybe add something more or take away less I dont know Filament Yes that was wrong Thank you for the Comment fellow Poet!!
A

Alobar

18 years ago

Years ago, I experimented a

Years ago, I experimented a few time with psychedelic mushrooms. It was fun, not profound like in the movies and the Carlos Castenada books, but fun. One time, I remember putting my head into a what a space with mirrors on three sides--one in front, one on either side. Everywhere I looked I saw this person I didn't recognize but knew deeply just the same. I wanted to talk to them. I tried. They just repeated the same words back to me, but always, out of the corner of my eye, there was this other guy, like me, waiting for an answer. It was strange. When I took my head out of the box-o-mirrors, three hours had passed. I've never eaten mushrooms since, but I will take that experience with me to the grave. You can never know yourself completely, and neither can the mirror.... Good poem, my friend, enjoyed it a lot. Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 12 months ago

O

I don't know why, but for some reason I had a vision of those mirrors at a fun house. The ones that take your image and distort it horribly. I'm sorry for your pain. ~Jess K. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "You name me, entertain Thoughts of peace can overcome anything Mirror spins; wicked tales Here lies reflections of,deceptions of...." - Overjoyed (Jars of Clay)

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