Tanka - raining

In the burning day
angry clouds wipe up their tears
in the lake’s mirror
Beneath the bridge, tree and I
reaching the sky like a leaf

— Marius Surleac, Jun 14, 2008

About the Author

Region, Country: Romania, ROU

Critiques

infinite_dwarf

17 years 12 months ago

I like this one...

I've no idea what a Tanka is, but regardless, this is a really nice piece. By the way, is your name pronounced 'Sur-lay-ick' 'Sur-lee-ick' 'Sur-lay-ack' or 'Sur-lee-ack'?? Just curious is all. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "You name me, entertain Thoughts of peace can overcome anything Mirror spins; wicked tales Here lies reflections of,deceptions of...." - Overjoyed (Jars of Clay)

Marius Surleac

17 years 12 months ago

thank you Jess!

Hi Jess. Tanka is a particular fix form Japanese style older than haiku, having the next sequence of lines 5-7-5-7-7, where 5-7-5 is the superior phrase and is called "kami-no-ku" and 7-7 is the inferior phrase and is called "shimo-no-ku". In Romanian language my name is pronounced in two syllables 'Sur-leac' and in English should be pronounced in the same way like is written with the particularity that 'ea' is like a long 'a'. best wishes, Marius

infinite_dwarf

17 years 12 months ago

Thanks!

Thanks for the small education on forms. We had a discussion last week on different styles of poetry, and someone (I think it was Ronda) had mentioned Tanka. I was just like "ain't that a toy company?" Thanks also for the clarification on your name. I guess in english, it would be 'Sur-lake' still really nice in whatever language you put it in. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "You name me, entertain Thoughts of peace can overcome anything Mirror spins; wicked tales Here lies reflections of, deceptions of...." - Overjoyed (Jars of Clay)

rider68

17 years 12 months ago

A simplistic serene piece

Hi Marius When written well, these have a profound enticing way, Loved the creativity.... Best Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

Marius Surleac

17 years 12 months ago

thank you very much Peter

Hi Peter! Thank you very much for your creative comment and feedback. I am glad that you liked it. The greatest pleasure for me is when my readers understand what I meant and they actually like the text. Best wishes, Marius

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