Time In A Teacup

People are always in a hurry.
Their da is pushed to have another day.
So slow down, do not be in a hurry.
It's not worth us to worry.
Society believes they'er epic life is
Limitless, although people rush like
their lives is measured a teacup at a
Time.

So take life as it was given.
People do a tremendous amount
Of clock watching. Slow down and
give living a try. Tis not so bad.
If only to relax a tad.
Society shuffles us to measure life
a teacup at a time.
So take a spell and catch your breath.
Be not caught measuring you life
In a teacup.
.
Pixee '08

— Pixee, Jun 24, 2008

Critiques

Rett

17 years 11 months ago

Pixee

Good write. Slow down. very good message. a couple of suggestions. 5th verse first stanza-they're should be their. Next to last or "penultimate line = you should be you're. Very good write. way to go! Rett: It may look easy, when you look at me, But it took years of effort, to become the mess that you see John Fogerty

Pixee

17 years 2 months ago

Dear Rett

I will never be as good as you. Maybe in time in the far future. I truly enjoy reading your poetry. You are such an inspiration to me. I read yours very carefully so I can learn and soak it all in. You are a beautiful writer. I adore you. Please feel free to critic any of my poetry or prose. Your comments go a long was with me. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my work. Your Friend, Pixee

weirdelf

17 years 11 months ago

Advice tends to get my back up

No doubt why I make so many mistakes I could have avoided! teehee I would rather see this written in the first person- We are always in a hurry... I need to slow down, not be in a hurry see what I mean? People will read it and go "oh yeah, I feel like that" instead of ornery buggers like me thinking "don't tell me how to live my life, even if I am on the verge of an anxiety attack" That's just my view, but I suspect others might feel similar. cheers, Jess

Pixee

17 years 2 months ago

My Friend weirdelf

I guess I am in a hurry like the rest of us writing poem. We want to get them posted so quickly. I appreciate you taking the time to write and read and comment on my poems. It means a lot coming from a pro poet writer like you, and I mean that truly. Please feel free to critic my other poems so someday I will be a good poet. Thank you again my friend. Your Friend, Pixee

poewriter58

17 years 11 months ago

2nd line should that da be a

2nd line should that da be a day The message is a good one I have a problem with the title being repeated three times almost back to back a bit of re writing this might be in order. Chrystalie

Pixee

17 years 2 months ago

Dear poe writer 158

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply. I have been in and out of the hospital since last year. I wrote in between stays. I agree, I do have the tendency to repeat myself. I will try to do better next time. Thank you so much for catching that. Your a real friend. Take care of you and thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. Please feel free to make any comment on any of my poems or prose. It makes me a better writer. Your Friend, Pixee

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in