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Wings

Wings and wisps,
light on air,
floating through this world,
without one care,

Then,
All that you know,
Everything you love,
comes crashing down,
you see people,
falling to ground,
you feel such pain,
you're broken by so much sorrow,

Broken wings,
polluted air,
crashing to the ground,
wondering if they even care,

Then,
everthing is gone,
the remaints of your world,
scattered all around you,
you see those people,
dead people,
scattered, lying on the ground,
agony burns,
(oozing) through your veins,
anger seeps,
(leaking) from your brain,
as you think,
they deserve to feel your pain,

manufactered wings, (that you stole)
soaring (gliding) through the air,
speeding to a different wold,
slowly you are losing,
every pint and every inch,
of care,

Then,
you hit them fast,
you hit them hard,
catching them (way, way) off gaurd,
little did you know,(or did you?)
(though you really didn't care,)
that you would die with them,
go up to Hell,
down to Heaven,
killing also though,
a thousand times ten,
not counting that extra "unknown,"
twelve...maybe million?

Your manufactured wings,
a product of your pain,
a vicious circle now we have come,
and you have killed so many,
yet it was all in vain,
your anger only reaped,
yet another killer,
took another life,
ripping a man,
from his child,
from his wife,
a giant,
(Yes)
vicious circle,
we have come.
— Gentle Storm, Jul 10, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: Michigan/USA

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Critiques

RSScheerer

RSScheerer

17 years 11 months ago

I like the concept of this piece

but you need to check some of your spelling - they could be just typos. There are some lines that are a bit "wordy" - could be reduced but retain the message and emotion. Your internal logic is consistent; the piece does come "full circle." I think with some tweaking and editing, this could really be a great piece. Best, ~ Ronda P.S. Love the picture - that's a great series of books! Are you looking forward to the next one on August 2nd.

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