once in heaven ...

I meta mor phosis
monikered Moses
half-bent over roses
grown out of focus
suffering kyphosis
a quart of neurosis
and a touch---
just a touch, mind you---
of horrid psychosis

— barbsdad2003, Jul 26, 2008

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

Barbara Writes

17 years 10 months ago

Chuck

Smiles:) Barbara Well written short piece.

barbsdad2003

17 years 10 months ago

Wow! are you ...

quick. Why, I barely got this posted. (To you, smiles right back!) Thanx again, Chuck

easylife_2

17 years 10 months ago

Great short one

I really like the rhyming,but meaning seems a bit obscure could you please expantiate.Thanks

barbsdad2003

17 years 10 months ago

your understanding a tad if you appreciate that Moses is a reference to the biblical Moses. You know, the one of the Old Testament. Blasphemy's sharply intended. (After all, when alive my father was a minister, which of course grants me certain rights in such regard.) Thanx, Chuck

infinite_dwarf

17 years 10 months ago

Nice!

Might you describe what a mor phosis looks like? I've never seen one. Are they small and cute enough to keep as pets? I like this one, Chuck, short-n-sweet! :~) ~Jess K. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "As I was going up the stair, I met a man who was not there, he wasn't there again today, I wish that man would go away!"

barbsdad2003

17 years 10 months ago

Hold on a second!

I'm still looking at the critter. Stuck right now in hopes that at length I can find accurate language to describe 'im. Thanx, Chuck

rider68

17 years 10 months ago

Hi Chuck

This is quite something, would i be right in a recent contra-taunt, a very thoughtful encapsulation, quite brilliantly put together my friend, very well done, Very Best Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

barbsdad2003

17 years 10 months ago

Thanx, Peter

Appreciate your reading/commenting. Further explanation/clarification of the piece's gleanable from my next comment, below. At least I think so. Yours, chuck

Kailashana

17 years 10 months ago

well, if you as me,

well, if you ask me, you blasphemed in the last scene of all dreams hardly over any rhyme or reason, just a hunch not to get your knickers in any sort of bunch, no act of mean or treason. ;-) Anna

barbsdad2003

17 years 10 months ago

Your hunch here ...

is so right on. Yours, Chuck PS: See my comment above in response to easylife. (And my knickers hang just right. At least for the moment. I do recognize that things/life/knickers come usually Saran-wrapped in a state of flux.)

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in