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ML
Michael Landau
Aug 11, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

My Gift

I tried and triedBut was adriftOh, God pleaseGive me a gift I was not a rabbiI read only left to rightI was not a lawyer'Cause I didn't have the fight I was not a doctor'Cause I couldn't stand the bloodI was not a farmer'Cause I couldn't stand the mud I was not a runner'Cause I guess I'm not that swiftSo I guess I'll be a poet'Cause that's my only gift

 
— Michael Landau, Aug 11, 2008
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Critiques

Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 10 months ago

Gift

This is very nice little poem I bet you have many gifts I notice your Obama for Prez sign. I had decided I was not going to vote because there was no one to vote for , but now I have been inspired the last few days. Paris Hilton for president!
Rett

Rett

17 years 10 months ago

Michael

Enjoyed the read. I think I'll start a grassroots write in movement. Me for President. I can do better than both those idiots. *LOL* Respectfully, Rett: "Life is like a beach. Salty, gritty, somewhat fishy and at other times, downright crabby!" Rett 2008.
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 10 months ago

What is happening with you Michael?

your poetry has improved so much in a short while. You seem to be adding heart to your undoubted intellect. I know I struggle with heart and mind but they are all the same really. cheers, Jess
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 10 months ago

I'd rip you to shreds but I can't find anything wrong

Here today And I am not the best technical writer here was a catchy piece I did and do like it Donnie/ Sinbad Paris Hilton don't we have too many igettes already come on Give Bush another try I luv bush as long as it is worn by those of the female stature yea bush I am lying I perfer the lanolimium floors to shag carpets please forgive it been a long long time I digress
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 10 months ago

I'd rip you to shreds but I can't find anything wrong

Here today And I am not the best technical writer here was a catchy piece I did and do like it Donnie/ Sinbad Paris Hilton don't we have too many igettes already come on Give Bush another try I luv bush as long as it is worn by those of the female stature yea bush I am lying I perfer the lanolimium floors to shag carpets please forgive its been a long long time I digress
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 10 months ago

It's a delight ...

for me to see (by this piece) your so apparent improvement. Thanx, Chuck PS: There does exist a dissonance tween the first stanza and the others with regards to where the rhyming occurs. In all but the first you rhyme second and fourth lines of each stanza. If that could be remedied somehow ...
ML

Michael Landau

17 years 10 months ago

Thank you for your comment

Thank you for your comment Chuck! I made a change. Unfortunately, the spacing got screwed up, and I don't know how to fix it. What do you think about the change? Sincerely, Michael
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 10 months ago

How about ...

instead of: I tried and tried I was adrift make it: I tried and tried But was adrift You fixed the dissonance I referenced just fine. As to spacing, I've had something similar happen at times when I've attempted an edit. When I took out the double spaces between lines intrastanza (and then deleted the extra spaces left tween stanzas), the oddity became remedied. For example, if I may simply copy a part of your piece as: I tried and tried I was adrift Oh, God please Give me a gift I was not a rabbi I read only left to right I was not a lawyer ‘Cause I didn’t have the fight and then recopy here next, only to apply the space deletions I've suggested, it then looks like: I tried and tried I was adrift Oh, God please Give me a gift I was not a rabbi I read only left to right I was not a lawyer ‘Cause I didn’t have the fight I think your cheerful willingness to make changes in order to accomplish improvement's esp. commendable. And refreshing. Appallingly often, it seems, people ask for help only to resent it when proffered. Thanx, Chuck
ML

Michael Landau

17 years 10 months ago

I agree with your changes.

I definitely agree with your idea about adding the word " but". I will make that change. It makes much more sense that way. I will try to fix the spacing but it happens every time I copy and paste a poem from Microsoft word. I'm not sure if I can fix the spacing problems or not. Sometimes I can, and sometimes I cannot do it. Well I tried to fix the spacing problem, but strangely when I look at the editing screen I don't see any spaces. When I hit "submit" all those spaces appear. I'm not sure what the problem is. I will try one more time to fix the spacing problem. Anyway, as far as accepting criticism is concerned, I figure if I'm not here to learn, why am I here? I might not always agree with criticism, but I always listen and think about it. Thank you for your help! Sincerely, Michael
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 9 months ago

Have you tried ...

inputting the whole piece into Microsoft word---that is, with all the changes made subsequent to the original write---and then copy and paste back to neopoet? Seems to me that oughta work. But then often what's oughta don't. Yours again, Chuck
ML

Michael Landau

17 years 9 months ago

I just tried that...

It helped a bit, but there's still a space between each line. At least it evened out the spacing in the first stanza. Yours, Michael
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 10 months ago

Michael

I truly enjoyed your poem and must admit it made me smile nice work here!
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 9 months ago

Micheal

Smiles:) Barbara Almost called you, Mike my brother name Micheal if you have office 2007 it can be tricky when coping and pasting hard to explain what to do as I finally figure out what causes this. still learnig this new word by trial and error put back in word and make sure their are no spaces between any words for example. I tried and triedAnd then I criedOh, God pleaseGive me a gift then hit enter after each last word no space before hitting enter ex. of space before enter. I tried and tried And then I cried Oh, God please Give me a gift I was not a rabbi I read only left to right I was not a lawyer ‘Cause I didn’t have the fight I was not a doctor ‘Cause I couldn’t stand the blood I was not a farmer ‘Cause I couldn’t stand the mud I was not a runner ‘Cause I guess I’m not that swift So I guess I’ll be a poet ‘Cause that’s my only gift Hope i was helpful.
Rett

Rett

17 years 9 months ago

Michael

I save my files from Word in txt format and save, then open them in notepad whare I make any changes that are needed, then copy and paste into neopoet. I have not had any trouble at all doing it that way. Just a tip. Respectfully, Rett: "Life is like a beach. Salty, gritty, somewhat fishy and at other times, downright crabby!" Rett 2008.
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 9 months ago

will try that Rett

Smiles:) Barbara makes life easier, i go through great pains to figure things out when the easy way is right under my nose. never thought about notepad
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 9 months ago

More yet ...

re this subject that occurred to me after I left the library yesterday last. Much of my work is first typed into Notepad, but without any double spacing, reserving the spacing tween stanzas for after I've copied/pasted the whole piece into neopoet. That seems to get around the spacing eccentricities that so happily present themselves at neopoet, making for at least moments of uncomfortable frustration. I'm sure there's a way. Looks like you've got some willing helpers here. And of course my hat's off to them. Every one. Yours, Chuck

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