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O

threshold:



You feed me midnight tears
your cool maiden cheek
rapture of a happy nebulae
the smudge above
the sky

the wind pours from your
portion of soul
lake dances with fire
the far away shores
full of content warm homes

your teeth glint polished
pointed
eager
a siren races through thick
buildings
screaming
grey cold blacktop

skins like mysteries
we touch where words
fail
where tatoos
needles stabbed us
the bridge of pain
where love tore
through
trepidation

the runaway horse
flames sparking
metal shoes

thundering alone
empty under
the weight of
dreams

what has leapt out
from you
has left

sleep deep
in thresholds
dark

i watch the limbs
of trees conducting
silent symphonies

— orgami, Sep 19, 2008

Critiques

R

rider68

17 years 8 months ago

Hi O~

This danced/floated right off the page, mystical enticing, and yet enough to still question, An inspiring write Sir, I still have a way to go, Be well take care.. Very best regards....... Peter ~~~"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday, and I love today."~~~
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 8 months ago

a dreamy write...

nebulae.. I was certain that wasn't spelled right, looked it up and you've taught me yet another word... yes... your writing is so much like painting... in my mind the easel prepares to read...ready for the onslaught of lines forming into images full of color and sound... yet another "remarkable" write... Did you read Anna's "remarkable"? just thought I'd throw that word in... Richard
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 8 months ago

~O

Your poems are beautifully spun upon paper Each line a layer, leading to the next and the next . . . . Excellent write here my friend~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers
C

Calliope

17 years 8 months ago

Breathtaking!

A stunning peice to come back to.Thank you ,O. Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
MI

Mohammad Yamin Iraqi

17 years 8 months ago

Threshold

Your poem is as beautiful as a colourul painting ona wide canvas -extremely touching. Mohammad
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 8 months ago

Dreaming

Orgami, All I can say is "WOW!!" in my limited English So much expression of love. I pray that one day I can write like you do. I'm glad I have the opportunity to read it on this poetry site. thanks again, Eddie "We know the mysteries of philosophy and of the art of Holy Poetry" By Jose de Diego
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

17 years 8 months ago

O

Have I ever mentioned how much I envy your style? Your words capture and share the nuances of life that so many fail to see. It's beautiful. ~ Ronda
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

O

Beautiful write,especially about the trees and the silent symphonies. Now every time I see trees blowing in the wind I will think about that line.
W

W.C.Wampler

17 years 8 months ago

Your poetic style in Threshold

O, this is written like some of the work of the great beat poets. Clearly, I still have learning to do. Thanks wcw
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 8 months ago

Steven

this is beautiful. Congrats on Spotlight, my friend. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- "Will there be another race to come along and take over for us? Maybe Martians will do better than we've done; we'll make great pets." - Perry Farrell
O

orgami

17 years 8 months ago

Sundays falling sun

thank you all "Beat poet" god how i missed that era only catching it through "On the Road" Jack Kerouack although I chuckle at "Cool-Daddy-O" and the lines of two of the bikers from "Wild One" in Bleekers Cafe i am so happy that poetry can touch so many people like personal poems especially here i feel like i have "made it" now to one level of writing
KB

Kevin P. Bodisch

17 years 8 months ago

Great Write

I love the imagery of this poem. "You feed me midnight tears your cool maiden cheek rapture nebulae the smudge above the sky." In this stanza of your poem I can see a woman crying her tears running down her cheeck her mascara running down her face the smdge a dark tail and her tear a commet. This poem reaches me
P

purplemoondoll

17 years 8 months ago

skins like mysteries we

skins like mysteries we touch where words fail You are one of my favorite poets my friend and this is absolutely stunning. Thank you! Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
O

orgami

17 years 8 months ago

orgami

people have pulled so much from this poem and themselves such is the magic of poetry subtle nuance strong imagery in depth and imagination of reader and fellow poets I am happy for us all this feast of words that we may partake and feed our worlds our empathy and emotive powers
D

DDCdogood

17 years 8 months ago

My Stay at The 'Threshold'

'Nice O' This poetic piece of observation, creates pictures to the reader, of the human condition and cradles them with torrent emoting. Wow 'O'; this one is so honest and beautiful, thanks, as a reader, and as, one of those humans. ps I've been busy lately and I'm glad I made the time. I'm one of those souls, who believes, everything happens, for a reason. Congrats on the 'Spotlight' Keep em' comin' O Peace DDC
Marius Surleac

Marius Surleac

17 years 8 months ago

niceeee

I like the descriptions within the poem, the flow. A beautiful poem! Well done! Cheers, Marius
O

orgami

17 years 3 months ago

sleep deep the thresholds gate the time to shift not hesitate

theses sadness shadows fill your grace build up the power of your face your eyes have burned their charm within my fight has staggered fallen whim the burden of your kisses pressed upon the safety of my chest close doors of certianty and more lay placed aflame upon the floor the tumble of the chestnut hair the pools of light from humble stare no words erupt I do not dare just touch the spark from tip to tip of reaching fingertips
W

W.C.Wampler

17 years 3 months ago

threshold's gate poetic comment reply

ORG., Your poem is wonderful, and your 'gate' comment is equal, if not better by a chestnut hair. Thanks again...wcw
O

orgami

16 years 7 months ago

One of the few Rhyming comment poems W.C.

they are hard to write the freeform is so different they are hooking everyone up to MRI machines to see blood flow in the brain for thoughts Im certian poets could be an intersting study I know that there is a different area for rhymne and for freeform in my brain Thanks

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