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HELL

He quickly walked down the halls
of the firey hell
His large black wings spread wide
Casting a terrible shadow on  the walls

The lesser demons shrinking back in fear
As the Powerful One passed by
His howls and shrieks echoed to the pit
Of the dark and fearful deep abyss

He had been summoned by his master
For he had failed to complete his mission
To bring in one special soul
And to bring it in alive

Satan sat with face twisted in an evil rage
His long black claws gripping the arms
Of his stoney throne

The Powerful One entered the
Room of Satan's throne
Dropping to the floor
Now crawling on all fours

"Master", he hissed, through clenched teeth
"Silence!" Satan shrieked
"I have waited long enough!  "Must I ask
another to complete this simple task

"There is one, a special one, you know
Of whom I speak
I want her for my bride
I will no longer be denied

"But master", the Powerful One said
"They say that she is blessed
And her heart cannot by evil be possessed

"You will bring her here to me, Satan growled
"I will wait no more
You have but one more night to
Make your failure right

"But I warn you, if you fail me
now as you did before
I will surely show you
What hell is really for




— Linda Moses, Oct 04, 2008

About the Author

Region, Country: Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: rethinking this. have recently started reading the works of some of the greats, I will comment later

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Critiques

W

W.C.Wampler

17 years 8 months ago

poem; Hell

Linda Moses, what are you doing? In spite of the speed with which you covered a lot of story ground, this poem is only partial. Isn't it? What do I know? I'll have to read it more times, but I'm not sure I know who is powerful, and who is afraid of who. And of course, I can't imagine the bride at all. What am I doing wrong? Did I miss somethng? wcw
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

W.C.

You are right. I felt too it was only partial after posted it. You aren't doing anything wrong and I respect your opinion.
Mark

Mark

17 years 8 months ago

Satans

H Linda, the lore is Satans (plural) I am a bit confused at who is she? Like W.C. writes, I agree it looks and feels incomplete but it did kep me reading. Mark Give me rhythm and rock me baby ! Oh man, do I wanna get off on it !
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

Hi, Mark

I guess I either need to add to this or leave it entirely alone, as I do agree with you. Thanks for your comments.
t. reflexion

t. reflexion

17 years 8 months ago

Who else...?

The poet is a witness to the dialogue between satan and the powerful one, an extended self of satan himself (evil and sin) and the bride, the soul that has not yet been conquered by evil, and in this instance that of the poet. I may be wrong, but this is my attempt to appreciate the poem as a piece of art. I have a picture of a movie screen when I read lines 13 to 15. I Like this poem for the questions it posses to the reader, not only to identify the shadow characters, but to asses ourselves in this context. Well done, Linda T. I am not sure if this is a slip, line 9 reads summended, should it be summonded?
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

T

Thank you, I corrected the spelling. Actually T. like W.C. said what was I doing? I posted this for Halloween, actually. It is in part taken from a short story I wrote, and in an attempt to shorten it,and make a poem out of part of it,I lost a lot of story, and at least one other character who is an guardian angel of the soul satan wants
yenti

yenti

17 years 8 months ago

A Hell

Beautifully written as usual Linda, and brought the under world streaming to the surface, it is wonderful that we can walk where ever we wish, and write about it. Keep on walking and writing, but never tary in those regions, they are not for one so fair, it's a bad place to visit there. Be like the Eagle that sees all, but from a distance. LOL Yours Ian.T
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

Hi, Ian

Thank you for you kind comments. My husband did not approve of the subject matter. He rarely asks me not to write something.
P

panaella

17 years 8 months ago

I want to know more

Hi Linda, Like the fact you used the 3rd person narrative...gives a bit of distance to the dialogue...but I agree with other comments...where's part 2?..the sequel....where's the bride?...did she go?....willingly?...Is she so incorruptable?....you've posed some questions and tweaked interest with the reader...we need answers!..hahaha...perhaps you could structure it from Satan's viewpoint and from the brides? I think you should of written 'summoned' on line 9? Regards, Ellie
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

HI, Ellie

Yes, I did correct the spelling. I am unsure if I should beef this up or write a part 2, probably not. Thank you for your comments.
P

poewriter58

17 years 8 months ago

Linda

This needs more meet. You are speaking of demonic power here give it more force. wouldn't the one being spoken to be a lesser demon as well? what will Satan do. And who is the blesses one? ask yourself these questions then beef it up and give it a catchy title Chrys the story line is fine
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

Chrys.

I will work on this, but as I said to Ellie, undecided here. I agree with everything you say, it is imcomplete
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 8 months ago

Linda

You said it was part of a short story you wrote? Why not post the whole story under the 'short story' catagory? Esp. if it has the missing info that everyone's looking for. :~) ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- "If you've ever emptied the back of your pickup truck by driving backward really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck" - Jeff Foxworthy Bill Engvall: "that's how we moved"
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

Jess

Good idsea, Now to find the box it is packed in.
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 8 months ago

Hi Linda

Well written and interesting piece. For some reason, I kept getting reminded of Milton's description of Hell in Paradise Lost. I like the image evoked by: His large black wings spread wide Casting a terrible shadow on the walls Lonely, terrifying, primordial, grotesque ......- a definite departure from the satans of the 21st century who worship money and have ravaged, raped and set the earth on fire. One small typo though: "Howels" Leonard
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

Leonard

Eagle eye. Howls, was not a typo,I just flat mis-spelled it. Thank you for your comments
E

easylife_2

17 years 8 months ago

Agree with everybody

here Linda.Its a great write anyway,and its your prerogative if you decide on a sequel or not,but would be looking forward to reading the short story.Thank you.
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

Easy

Thank you for your comments. I did find the original short story I wrote, but had not quite finished the story. Guess I will work on it.
Rett

Rett

17 years 8 months ago

Good write Linda

But leaves me wanting more. Remember, a poem can be continued over two or three if too long for one. I look forward to reading the short story and maybe an extension of the poem that details it a bit better. Cool Respectfully, Rett: "We can all be thankful that Picasso wasn't a plastic surgeon." Rett
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

Rett

HOw are you? good to hear from you. As I stated above, I found my story I had written ( about 10 years ago, I guess, I'm not sure) so maybe I will finish it. I had not thought about continuing a poem over 2 or 3 writes. Thanks
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 8 months ago

Linda,

this is a very strong poem that bring out the struggle between good and evil, I thought you painted a great picture. When I read a poem and want more, then I know that the writer has capture me, and you did just that with the dialogue. Very, Very, good work! Thanks, Eddie "Success is counted sweetest" Emily Dickinson
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

Eddie

Thank you for your comments, I do appreciate you taking the time to read.
P

prayersbyPatty

17 years 8 months ago

Evil fight Good (as in all stories) or TV

It sent chills down my spine. Satan roams about seeking those he can devour. The bride could be anyone. And as a few have said its a story of evil against good. I like it left to the readers imagination. Cause as soon as he gets her... on to another.. Good write Linda Patty
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 8 months ago

Thank

you Patty, I always appreciate your comments.

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