For the Dispossessed Child of Our Land

Many petals

Of this delicate flower

Have either withered

Or withdrawn

His roots,

Seeking sustenance

In dry desert land,

have atrophied

Instead of singing songs

Of the splendour of spring

He croaks with bull-frog hoarseness

Of vaguely visioned dreams

— leonard daranjo, Oct 22, 2008

Critiques

Janice Pearce

17 years 7 months ago

For The Dispoessed Child Of Our Land

Leonard,Hey there, my friend This was beautiful. I think line 5 his roots, maybe "their roots" Line 9 "of" after instead? this would make it perfect. Or maybe I am mis-understanding the content, let me know~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

leonard daranjo

17 years 7 months ago

Thank you Janice

I was writing in singular so "his roots" is okay. Line 9 is definitely a mistake. I left out the preposition "of". Thanks for point out. I do appreciate your reading and commenting. Leonard

prayersbyPatty

17 years 7 months ago