Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

the world

one day we shall see
the beauty in each others eyes
we shall touch the souls of one anouther
and understand each others cries

one day we will hope
as the world proceeds
we will build the briges we crashed down
and care for each others needs

one moment that this will appear
all around our home
we will notice the faith
and never be left alone

one day we will all ruin this
with the war that comes in place
we will make tears for our loved ones
this will discontinue all the chase

we share this moment hand in hand
and ruin it apart
no one will see the beauty for long
but we might make the best of this first start
— Tessadiana, Dec 29, 2008

Critiques

Rett

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Good write Diana

Ah, the hearts that battle for togetherness and suffer so apart. One little nitpick.."we will nodice the faith" (nodice? notice or something I am not getting?)) Respectfully, Rett: "It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside." Purplemoondoll

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.