Emotion Stagnated

It´s so good to see you posting again! Please consider moving "too high" to l.2. Much love, ~N P.S. disapear/disappear

awesome! ~N

Really liked the title, as it was very captivating and descriptive. Nice work. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "If we always give what we have always given, we will always get what we have always got..." - Mike R.

I can read between your lines sweet Proprietress! 'It would be so easy to give life to this' I know that feeling so well. Sometimes I cherish my stagnated emotions, sometimes I curse them. Maybe it's my slightly unbalanced state today ; ) but I found it quite an emotional read. Wonderful ~Stella

another breath-taking write. It's too good. A 5's not sufficient. Yours, Chuck

for losing is easy - how true it is and how ably you have pictured.

This is a very nice poem, sincerely I tell you. Don't you think is better to change that "see" from the eleventh line with "observe"? Friendly, Ionut

I was thinking more about "only to observe/ that you don't want to see" - “only to observe/ that you don’t want to observe” sounds bad. Well... if you need a repetition... I do not know. I shall think about it. Cheers!

Well I like it... but, you seem to have doubts about it... and I can only tell you how I would write it... I would take the "too high" out, for descending already covers the fall from above and it makes it tighter... the first "emotion stagnated"... I would change to maybe.. "white emotions" or pale emotion... "observe" and then "see" as Unlight suggested... and then in my opinion you could lose the last "so easy" but like I said this is the way I would write it, and it is already a very good write... are you not happy with it? personally I love the way you write... so my opinion is slightly biased... your friend on themoon

I like the repetition of "see", and have read those two sees in exactly the same way Stella described. Unlight has a point regarding the flow, though. This line does fall a little short. But "observe" would not be my choice here, because of the dark vowels. How about "realize"? It´s up to you, little muse, I know you will make the right choice and listen to both reason and intuition. Love, ~Nina

the original see/see. It falls stronger that way. Yours, Chuck

"See" is better..."observe" seems too impersonal, too detached. This is very, very good. The last verse, the line before it and the last line are very intense, to me. I like the structure that you used for the poem, particularly there at the end. This is a poem that I will come back to many times, and think about a lot- your voice is extremely powerful. Respectfully, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Yes, Jim expressed it well didn't he... I am glad you didn't change this poem, other than the "too high". Chuck explained the see/see pretty good too.... I have not read anything from you I didn't like, and sometimes I feel I am not giving what the poet wants when I say how much I love the poem, and they want a more detailed look into the write. To me, you have a unique and wonderful way about yourself and it comes through in your writes... and I am glad to be here to "see" it... Richard

to keep my rapt attention, this really flows with an affirmative melancholy. You end it perfectly, on the very tip of the tongue, and your repetition is perfect. Mark W.

and enjoyed it very much as have the others. The use of repetition does tend to get readers divided and i agree with the consensus that the repetition of "see" is effective. Personally though having read this four or five times now out loud, i am less happy with the number of easys, especially if you emphasise them on reading, which i assume you intend and was the way i read it. Perhaps i would suggest a slightly different emphasis in the line: "it would be easy so easy so easy" and have "it would be easy so, so easy" instead so that you lose one easy but have the so, so repetition more forceful Just a suggestion All the best Keith

Kata You have stirred up the melting pot here on seeing the responses. You definately write from a different zone But let the words tumble freely and write what falls from you pen. Everyone reads it differently. They only see what they want to see and not what you have written. I am what............... I am Water (Aquarian - my secret grotto) I am Fire (such passion do I hold) I am Earth (my special place - the woods, my steam) I am Air (not only do I breathe it in but as free as too) I travel the universe within and without. Electricblue

Ltns ... so glad to see you again its wonderful to know your around .. I am looking forward to seeing something new from you pen !! hurry up !! lol And here I am come to this a century later but still holds me as it held everyone before me ... brilliant write ... love and higgest bugs Jayne x x x