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Free my heart from doldrums

My freckles speak appearance of your dispositions. I get enclosed in your clouds then I shine in the light of your stardom. Some times I float and some times drown in the ocean of your conviction,All my efforts are to live up to your wisdom. Fifteen nights of transforming moon, changes my rest in your heart.This moment live with fulsome love and another for endless search.Swinging in the motion of varying providence;Waiting for my cruel time to bliss on my life's sentence; Unreal flowers scent and reek in my garden;Luxuriant my dreams and some times get me barren.My timber house warms me with your presence;When illusions get real, it shatters my existence; I aspire to sleep forever and get healed from all my burns;To secure my compassion and free my heart from doldrums; Arshi Naim  
— Arshi Naim, Jan 09, 2009

Critiques

yenti

yenti

17 years 4 months ago

Arshi

This is a lovely piece hidden in some flowery words where little ones may have more power, it is from the old way which is to me so poetical, but they are used less in these days of Texd or whatever it is, though the words make a change, and are sometimes needed. A little house cleaning and an edit for a better flow are needed, Yours Ian.T
R

rahbar

17 years 2 months ago

Thought provoking indeed.

Hello Arshi...your lines are deep and meaningful ..the flow of idea is perfect..it also exposes some kind of pain in your heart...very impressive indeed. Rahbar.

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