Three Does ...

Three Does ...

---

What beck'ning ghost,
along the moonlight shade
Invites my steps,
and points to yonder glade?
---Pope
---

ghosted in the night
made surreally gilded

by reflected light that
echoed/bounced tween

orbed
yellow moon
and whitest snow.

I delayed crawling
into crib for to watch
silently from my bedroom

window.

This morning's
sullen sun exposed
trains of deerprints

plotted seeming random
across the whole
of backyard

yet
otherwise

pristine.

It's now
apparent
to me

I did
not dream

in the nighttime.

— barbsdad2003, Jan 11, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

deelilah

17 years 5 months ago

Hello Chuck

orbed yellow moon and whitest snow. I delayed crawling into bed for to watch silently from my bedroom window. You were playing with the numbers of syllables a little bit, were you not? I love doing this excercise. I also enjoyed the quiet beautiful images of moonlight, snow, and how it looks at night. Yours, Deelilah

barbsdad2003

17 years ago

I laugh, deelilah ...

Following your lead, I did some counting. And eureka!---lo an' behold!---those numbers're right there. Truth to tell they fell that way. An accident by number. I attempted not to be so numerically driven as you might think. 'Twas the purest of pure accident. Thanx, Chuck PS: Despite my advanced age, at times I do get lucky, fuel pardon the double meaning here not intended.

Proprietress o…

17 years 5 months ago

Chuck,

beautiful, poetic... I did not dream in the nighttime. the last line gave me goosebumps. that's what poetry is about... your Proprietress

barbsdad2003

17 years 5 months ago

I know ...

I leaned to the end of thin limb here. My forte is funny-funny, oh so funny. When I get serious, I lose quality ... Uncomfortable I am enough to question the potential impact of a/this piece, I'm glad this grew your bumps. 'Twas a struggle to get my reluctant self to post this. Thought it wasn't good enough. But I guess 'tis. At least barely. Thanx, Chuck PS: Surreality's a tough paint. At least for me.

Quillsvein1

17 years 5 months ago

you have

a dreamy, monosyllabic rhythm going here--cutting out a few nouns would make it damn near perfect--and you've produced yet another gorgeous word puzzle. great job!

barbsdad2003

17 years 5 months ago

Thanx

And I'm so glad to see you back full (or at least partly full) force. A pleasure it is to have you here. Yours, Chuck

Nordic cloud

17 years ago

I too have seen

the roe deer treading gingerly with their thin legs in the snow looking for wind-falls and visiting my organic rubbish beneath the rhododendron bush. At twilight they come out of the woods and I am there waiting by the window in silence. Do you need night AND time? Just the night is enough I feel. Ann of Norway

barbsdad2003

16 years 12 months ago

Aren't they ...

something to see? A time back one doe ventured from the woods of a mid-early morning and, curious, approached Buster's outdoor cage --- we hold him there for a part of the daytime, in his roughly meter plus one-half by two-meter heavy-wire mesh cage, its top about chest high---it has no floor---for his protection ... from hawks that nest nearby, from passing-through coyotes, resident minks at creek, sometimes a fox --- and snuffled at its corner. Buster, of course, got as quiet as a mouse, hunkered down in his opposite corner, and waited for the doe to satisfy herself and leave. And much to his relief, she did. Thanx, Chuck

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