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Sep 06, 2011
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Cold(Olympic Pool)
The touch that I once longed for
Now repulses
Lips once warm and sweet
Have turned calloused and cold
Little innuendos
now chafe and bite
Give them to another
For I no longer can
bear the thought of you
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
13 years 10 months ago
Wow, Chrys,
absolutely COLD! You could freeze water on it and make ice cubes! I love it and wouldn't change a word.
always, Cat
raj
13 years 10 months ago
Chrys
nicely done...precise and yet effective..
Kailashana2
13 years 10 months ago
Hi Chrys, hope you're mending
Hi Chrys, hope you're mending well, and Lonnie's waiting on you hand and foot.
I don't know if I'm off target here, but if this were my poem, I'd change the last stanza,
to read:
Give them to another;
I no longer
bear the thought of you.
For me it's more precise. Good poem conveying the icy stare.
~A
lou
13 years 10 months ago
Brrrrrr
Very chilly remind me not to get on your bad side LOL!!!!
Filled with ice cold hate, I personally wouldn't change a thing about it.
Lou